3. Sugar Addict Support Group: Pretty Little Liars

Hi Everyone, my name is Nikki and I am a sugar addict.
I used to have glowing skin and teeth, blinding even, but sugar ruined it to a dulled down gray. Now I’m forced to put all sorts of activated charcoal products on my face and teeth just to be vibrant again.
I smiled the other day while brushing and had black drool go down my favorite dress. The stain did not come out.

Don’t get me started on the fresh turmeric kick I embarked on last year. Its like everything that is healthy for you stains something. No I do not have jaundice of the fingertips, random stranger.
Being healthy is messy. Imagine peeling an orange and then eating it at your desk at work.
No one wants sticky keys.
Grab me a muffin, that residue just crumbles right off your hands.
Like a teenager unable to listen to sound advice from a parent, it doesn’t matter if people are saying the key to everything is, diet and exercise. They are stupid and need to read more.

If next week I want to go to a cake tasting and pretend to be a bride, just to have a variety of samples and then follow that up with a cayenne cleanse and preach about the importance of cultures doing cleanses for centuries, this is reality.
A couple months back I had a 2 week streak of no sugar and daily morning runs. I was feeling uppity and in control and probably would never talk to anyone in this room because of how obviously misguided most of you are.
This clean streak led to a clairvoyant moment, the cure to everything is: Diet and Exercise.

It was like seeing for the first time.
My skin cleared up.
I slept better.
Had great off the cuff poignant remarks with strangers.
Stopped caring about the show, Scandal #oliviaandfitzforever
Is this what it was like to be normal and even keeled?

And I thought about how much money I had spent on my at home apothecary. The powders, the oils, the mysterious glances when my boyfriend was asking why I was putting powders in vitamin capsules by candle light.
He just didn’t understand. I was trying to be all natural.
So I know Pam sent us on a mission last week to find what triggers our sugar addiction. And I had an epiphany.

I was sitting in a meditative state with my new sponsor, Monica, and a glass of rose, or as some might call it, summer water; when my Pinterest board hit me. #basic
Why do all the things I “pin” look the same?
Desserts are matching dresses.
Dresses matching home decor styles.
Do I need to consume pretty to feel pretty?
Let me show you:
Exhibit A


If I wear this outfit and then eat this cake, Ill be pretty on the inside and out. I might even get tan and skinny and have lots of best friends!
I decided to take it old school and created a bunch of foam boards with print outs, which you can see behind me.
I know Devon took the PowerPoint route for his presentation on, “Peanut Butter Fudge and Grandma Circa 1977,” but I find that gluing and taping magazine cut outs really helps keep my hands busy when I am having sugar withdrawals.
Oh and then I found this outfit:
Exhibit B


My therapist says my obsession with sequins and embellishments directly ties to the urge I feel to eat this shirt I mean, cake.
But then I was thinking, not all pretty desserts are that great tasting. Some times its the down right ugly things I like to eat.
Then I realized sometimes ugly fashion really gets me too.
Exhibit C


And then there are things I just don’t understand in general, but can appreciate.
Exhibit D.


Stop stimulating my eyes colorful treats!
Its like candy is there to trick you into getting addicted.
Like these PSAs for flavored tobacco.

We need some PSAs on the sides of buses for all colorful candies, pastries and cakes. Anything with vibrant colors.
It might help a lot of the people in my life who have diabetes.
Anyways, thanks for listening.
Wish me luck, heading off to a Labor Day BBQ, I heard someone was bringing strawberry shortcake…
