Nikki Wearly
Aug 27, 2017 · 2 min read

We are products of our experiences. It’s through these learned experiences that we begin to anticipate what might happen and begin to form expectations from the world around us. If we experience positive outcomes within a given set of circumstances, we will likely engage in them again. We learn through reinforcement. Unfortunately, this works the other way as well.

When we are put in situations and the outcome is less than what we expect we experience disappointment. Over time, and through experiencing disappointment frequently, we can come to expect to be hurt and disappointed. We begin to expect it. from situations and the people in our lives and may go to extremes to avoid feeling those pains again. Some of us may sabotage our relationships to strike first and not be the injured party while others may stop engaging in any potentially harmful situation altogether. We might even start to believe we deserve it and. subconsciously ask ourselves “do I deserve to be happy?”

We might need reminded sometimes that we deserve to be happy. I know I do. For some, this might mean having an amazing support group of friends that will remind you when you forget, and for others it might mean writing it on our whiteboard in the kitchen. What matters is that when we get lost lost temporarily to those subconscious doubts, that we are reminded that we deserve happiness and that we are fully allowing it into our lives. If not, we run the risk of allowing the past to rule the present.

We are products of our experiences, and we break easily. We can rebuild easily too. We take all the wonderful, horrible, and in between with us into whatever we do next. We fail. We learn. We try again and hopefully do better with what we’ve learned. As Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

That’s exactly what I intend to do in life. As a mother. As a partner. As a human.

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