So I invite you to think about how you serve up your potatoes today. When you want help baking your potatoes, how do you deliver them to your supporters? Do you bring them all cleaned and ready to bake, or do you expect the folks in your life to dig them out of the garden for you? Are you spending a lot of time digging out other people’s potatoes? Do you need to set better boundaries about keeping people out of your kitchen so you don’t get overly drained?
This dynamic is not always gendered, but I often see this lopsidedness happening in partnerships where one person has been socialized as male and one has been socialized as female. The one socialized as male may have the implicit expectation that their partner dig their potatoes for them. This unfairly burdens their socialized-as-female partner.