Is It Really The Time?
“When are you getting married?” “Which university you graduated from?
All these questions. Is it really The Time? Every time I scroll through my feed, I stumble across pictures of people - friends getting married, having children, being promoted at work, moving into new homes, settling into their lives. It’s only human nature to go on to use these milestones as a metric for my own life.
Am I a failure for not really having a plan? Am I a failure because I am not a university graduate? Am I a failure for not having a family of my own? Am I falling behind everyone else? Should I be looking for someone? Am I a failure for having no direction? At this age? Should I just settle with whatever I have now?
It’s so easy to dissect all of my movements and fall into this cycle of self-doubt but I’m ultimately always hit with the realisation that this, here, now, is exactly where I need to be – still searching, not settled.
I want to but it is not my time yet.
I am 27 this year and according to society and my culture am reaching my sell-by-date, but honestly I feel more human and alive than ever before – all thanks to the Almighty,
“They plan, and Allah plans. Surely, Allah is the Best of planners.”
– The Quran 08:30 Surah al-Anfal
No, I don’t feel lonely at all. I have my parents and am very blessed to be able to spend my time with them, at this age. They are my world, I wouldn’t give them up for anything.
I am happy and that is enough.
Sometimes I look at this picture because being present in that space made me feel extraordinary and infinite. It reminded me that I would never be young again, that the world was and is something that we capacitate within our bodies and our movements. I understood then that although life would happen, it would also always bestow the things that I needed at every given moment.
Whilst this ‘detour’ was a drastic emancipation from my old life, I am thankful for everything that it saved me from. I’m going to do great things someday, I do not doubt this for a second. For now, I am where I need to be, I am who I need to be.