
Reflect Yourself
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
Assalamualaikum,
This is one of the posts that I have kept as drafts for quite a long time. I just didn’t feel like writing for quite some time.. but today, I just feel like sharing.
I was alone in my room after Isya, sitting on my bed, utter darkness accompanied me throughout the night.
I didn’t bother to switch on the light, what for? If my heart couldn’t see the true light? (ceh)
A voice in me had led me to reflect myself, it had urged me to put aside whatever I was doing and spend some times to think. Some times to repent.
And so I did.
I started to see all the things that I have done wrong and asked myself, why did I do them?
I saw through me a few of good deeds that I did, it makes me feel quite happy, but why did I stop doing them?
I began to understand many things about myself – my actions, my feelings – something that you can’t quite get by simply asking people to “Please describe me”.
No one knows you more than you do. People see the ‘outer’ you, but they will never completely understand and get used to your inside despite many years of knowing each other. Only The Almighty knows you, so talk to Him. Try, for at least once, to sit still after your Isya’ prayer and reflect yourself.
I am no pious Muslim, honest. But whenever I do this reflect session alone, I begin to become more aware of all these things. It might not take me one day to change (being istiqamah is hard), it may take years, but slowly and patiently, I hope I’ll become a better Muslim, InsyaAllah.
Love,
Ayuni
