Not Made for Flings

During a harmless session of Tinder, couple of summers ago, I got matched with Valerie from Barrie. She was charming, the creative kind and had no troubles keeping pace with my sarcastic wit.

Check, check, check.

Following a week of texting, we met up for drinks. There was instant chemistry. We kept chatting even after couple of hours with no awkward pauses or checking iPhone for time.There was so much in common. We had both backpacked through Europe, loved Roch Voisine and frowned upon those who put ketchup on their fries instead of on the side.

She is a keeper.

The night was nearing its end. Few drinks were had, and my confidence was at an all-time high. I was going to be captain suave!

“It’s pretty chilly right now eh?”

“Umm, what?! Its July. What’s wrong with you?!”

“Haha, shit! Sorry.. um I was hoping.. umm can I kiss you?”


After our kiss, I invited her to my place. This is where a man is supposed to have a plan. I had no plan. But, alcohol played an assist, one thing lead to another, and the rest of the details are on need to know basis. Infer if you must.

Next few weeks, we goofed around like fresh-in-love teenagers. She was couple of hours away. But, I would make the drive to see her on weekends. Sometimes, we would go see shows or grab a bite by the harbourfront. Sex was great and so were the long conversations. I felt a real connection with her. It was time for the next step.

“Hey..”, I messaged her on FB chat, “we should talk about us”.

“uhm, yea sure. What’s up?”

“I really like you. I realize you are a bit far, and it’s not going to be eas-.”,

She cut me off before easy. I had a whole spiel prepared.

“Joe, this is awkward. I wasn’t sure what you have in mind. But I assumed you knew this was just a fl-”

A fling. Flings are supposed to be this joyful short period of wild fun. It’s a ruse to have all the fun without the consequences, mostly during pleasant temperatures a la spring/summer. Fling in the winter? No such thing!

I had never had one. In my ‘girls I slept with’ tally, it only included previous girlfriends or potential girlfriends. I didn’t have a third column of ‘one night stand/summer camp/Eurotrip/flings’. Call it old-school or lack of opportunity. It just never happened.

Here I was going to ask Valerie to my girlfriend. Instead, it was as if I got dumped.

“You are a great guy. But, this being long distance and me busy with school, it just doesn’t make sense”.

She was right. And I hated her for it. I had just assumed she wanted to keep this going. To me, this was definitely wanting more. Hell, we were even going to do Roch Voisine’s classic ‘Helene’ duet at a karaoke! In my world, doing duets in public equals potential future girlfriend. It took me weeks to get over it. We still talk though, only through Facebook. She has a boyfriend now, and they seem happy. I don’t have hard feelings for her.

Our story was like the classic storyline of ‘lovers with different expectations’, where the sensitive girl wants more than a fling and the douchebag doesn’t call her the morning after.

That means, I am the sensitive girl. Fucccccck!