Is smoking cigarette good?

Certainly not, but may be, few things, a non-smoker should learn from people who smoke. This is a piece of standup comedy which I wrote.

Multitasking

We can do anything and everything while smoking. It can range from a truck driver taking reverse while looking in the rear mirror to the black guy working on his computer & getting Jurassic park up and running.

Charity

I find atleast 3 to 5 people per week who bum my cigarette in dosti khata. Which means no returning back. Now an average corporate person might be smoking a cigarette which costs around 10 to 15 buck. Which mean 50 bucks of charity per week.

Budgeting

I hate those people who buy Lays and Kurkure at a bus stop or are waiting for the train to leave. This junk food is very unhealthy. If i am stuck in a village with no ATM and I only have 50 bucks, i will properly manage by hunger, thirst and nicotine dose.

Loyalty

Ladies, please pay special attention to this one. We are the most loyal people you will find on this planet. We never change our brands. I broke my 10 year friendship just because of brand loyalty. I just had 15 bucks and asked a non-smoker friend to get me a Classic Milds at 3AM at night and he got Ultra Milds. We haven’t spoken since then.

Responsible & Obedient

We never throw wrappers or spit anywhere. Especially not in the places where it’s written smoking not allowed. We Indians have this habit of spitting out whatever we have in our mouth when we see any 2 walls connected.

You will also never see a smoker leaving a burning cigarette. Even if we flick it, we make sure it lands in water or main road where some car will run over it and stub it.

Healthy

With full day AC environment in office, we actually step out to breathe fresh air, get some vitamin D. We feel healthy especially after walking more than usual to find a spot where smoking is allowed. Airports, trains, malls, we actually search for smoking zones than charging points. Obviously we walk more.

Last & the most important, we do more neck exercise than anybody doing in the current time. We move around our neck to shoo away the smoke in different directions so it doesn’t block our mobile screens.

Hope you like it?