Conversation and its importance

That’s me contemplating all the time.

This is my first story and I didn’t really know what to write about. So I thought why not draw from the experiences I’ve had in life so far and tell you more about the title of this piece.

Making conversation is all about being yourself and understanding the other person. It could be the most random person in the world, however, you still need to know how you can talk to people and make real talk.

I myself speak to a new person almost every other day. I hear a lot of people say that they hate the ‘small talk’ of any conversation. Small talk is when you ask the other person how they are, what’s up and you know, the usual questions you ask. But we hardly ever make real conversation.

So how do you go about it?

Remember that you’re talking to a complete stranger. At this point, it almost doesn’t even matter what you say, because they’ll probably listen and react anyway. So just say hey with confidence, because confidence to begin any conversation is vital. You can’t sound nervous and that you’re putting the whole weight of the world on this conversation.

It’s important to keep the conversation light at first. Depending on how the other person responds, you will get a sense of how positively or negatively this conversation is going.

One thing I find very useful in talking to people I’ve just met is to find a ‘mutual point’. Your mutual point is basically where your interests converge, if you have the same interests, believe me, it gets much much easier. So it’s important to understand the other person in the first five to ten minutes of the conversation.

There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.- James Nathan Miller

Mr.Miller, in this quote, points out a very important fact. The fact that some conversations we make are almost futile. They have no real meaning. Why? Because we don’t ask the right questions and make ‘real’ conversation.

I’ve used the term ‘real conversation’ a few times. What I mean by that is that you ask questions that tell you more about the person instead of general information. You could talk about current affairs, their opinions on something and really get to know them in a way that you eventually start to like them.

Don’t make conversation just for the sake of it. Make conversation because you want to, because you enjoy talking and making human connections”

So, I’ll sum it up in a few points-

  1. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and the other person of the conversation.
  2. Make light conversation, keep a flow to the talk, keep it interesting for yourself and the listener as well.
  3. Find that delightful little ‘mutual point’.
  4. Make real conversation and ask questions which help you understand the person.

Conversation is a two-way process

I’ve faced this situation with very few people in my life and I have a tendency to avoid even seeing them, I’ll tell you why.

Imagine you’re sitting, you’re relaxed and this person walks in with all this energy to blabber and waste time and they catch you off-guard.

Believe me, I am mentally already running away from this person but then he/she comes, sits down and starts talking, and they just don’t stop. Nobody wants that.

Any conversation, is supposed to be a two-way process. You cannot sit with another person for hours together and make them listen to what you have to say. That just doesn’t work, it’ll bore you and you’ve already lost your will to talk before the conversation has started.

So remember, to always speak in turns and really listen to what the other person is saying. Because people appreciate that, they appreciate that you truly listen to what they say and reflect and give honest opinions. Honest talk is always better in the long run, fake talk gives you joy that only lasts a moment, honest talk gives you a relationship that lasts longer.

Why is this important?

So why is conversation important? In almost every field of life, wherever we’re working, living and existing, conversation is undeniably a huge part of everyday life.

You could say it is foundation of every human relationship, between every person on this planet. It feels good to make feel-good conversation, feels even better when you keep it real, true and transparent.

If you’re new at this, it’s completely fine to be stressed out about your non-social character. It can happen to the best of us. However, you need to get out there and explore the world through human relations and connections, that’s how you bond and make long-lasting relationships with people.

If you’re genuine with the person you’re talking to, you can be sure that they will remember as something different, they will remember you for who you are, the kind of person you are.

Well, I guess that’s about it for now. I hope this post helped and that you took the time to read through everything that I mentioned. If I might have missed out on something, please do let me know so I can talk about it in a future post.

Thanks for reading! Take Care! Keep talking! Keep it real.