Othered Romance Songs

We are bathed in 
television glare like
candle light
We speak of
Being Disobedient
and Being Too Light Skinned/ Not Light Skinned Enough
to be wanted
by any place we have come from.

He lays his head in my lap 
and we traverse the parts of the world our people 
were pushed out of
His father was born 2,465 kilometers and multiple decades
from where my grandparents fled
as children
and there would have been the Mediterranean Sea between them
And here we are on the same continent
with our fingers interlocked
comparing the similarities
in the words in our languages,
both of us carrying whole pieces of ourselves
in measures
like songs
In both of our cultures, when you are a disobedient daughter
you live your life on a chopping block
and when I say this, he grips my hands tighter
because he knows
neither of us
will ever have real homes

I look down at his sleepy eyes, I say
“They named us the one slur because they thought we looked like you”
We laugh.
I think, maybe this is what it’s like to go home:
When someone knows why you can never go home
But I do not say it
because both of us are frightened
of homes
and I want him to stay
and I want to stay, too

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