The Smoky Eye

I am obsessed with smoky eye makeup. Every time I see a girl wearing it, I have to stop and compliment her.

And I always end up asking how the fuck she did it.

Because I don’t know about you, but I have tried almost every smoky eye kit out there.

They all seem to promise to make it super easy to achieve the look. According to the little instructions that come with most of them, all you need is a swipe of this color all over the lid and a swipe of that color in the crease and this other color on the outer corners and voila!

Except that every single time I try, I end up looking less like a sexy vixen and more like a crack whore that’s been ridden hard and put away wet.

So today, after leafing through a fashion mag, I cam across an article about Jaclyn Hill, a well-known professional make-up artist and YouTube personality who does these video tutorials. I decided I had to check out her stuff and see if she had a smoky eye lesson, which, of course, she did.

Long story short, she claimed that it was so easy to replicate the look she was wearing. Like so incredibly easy, she gushed. So I watched. And I listened.

And at first, I thought…ok, maybe I can do this. I just have to get those eyeshadows and follow along. But then she started talking about using this brush for this and that brush for that. And this foundation to match her neck and then adding back color. And dabbing on highlights. And blend. And blend. And blend.

I had to stop watching the video because I was getting heart palpitations.

Turns out, I don’t really give enough fucks in order to pull of a kickass smoky eye look. But props to Jaclyn for pulling it off and looking gorgeous.

I figure if I ever do care enough to sport the look, I’ll just pay someone to do it for me.

Also, it makes me crazy that everywhere you look, it says smokey eye. It’s smoky. Unless you’re putting eye make up on a bear that’s trying to prevent forest fires.

Have you ever attempted this look? And been successful? Please, please share how in the fuck you did it. Or, if you want to commiserate, I’d love to hear that, too. Leave a comment below!