G Bush
G Bush
Nov 7 · 4 min read

First off if you look down on therapy your mom’s a hoe. I started going back to a therapist both because I needed help with getting my life together, but because sometimes it’s just nice to have someone to talk to. Being a college student is both tough and impossible. Every day I enter the lottery of whether A) I have a productive day and learn something/do an assignment and B) whether the professors and TA’s I pay thousands of dollars a year to instruct me do their own jobs. Today I had a Steve Eismen moment when I blew up thinking about how the whole system is rigged. Today I went to see a TA about how to complete one of my projects. Using more than 7 brain cells I explain to them my ideal approach and a way to solve the problem. Next thing I know is that they have no idea that there was a homework due AND that they have no knowledge on the subject matter. Who on earth is paying these people! How could I, a 20 year old college student who has been told all my life I know nothing simply because of my age know more about the course material than the TA. Absolutely ridiculous!

Then, I have a professor that has us show up 15 minutes earlier than the scheduled time frame in order to have a guest speaker present to the class. Apparently showing up on time isn’t getting this dude off enough and gave us a threat, if we’re late to any lecture we fail the class. Holy scoots! This normally isn’t a huge deal as this class is literally the only obligation I have on Thursday's, but next thing I know is that my number one enemy is around the corner, BT.

Blacksburg Transit (BT) is the next most bureaucratic, deceptive, evil and corrupt organization behind the frauds on Wall Street drowning me in student loans. For those listening overseas, BT is the local bus company in Blacksburg and is my number option for getting from my apartment to campus and back. If I was Mike Sherman I could bike and if I had a million dollar trust fund I would accept the thousands in parking fees I would acquire over a year, but here I am dealing with the monopoly of transportation that is BT. Never have I ever seen a BT bus come to the stop on time and if it ever did I simply saw “Bus Full” and have the bus zoom straight past me. My record for waiting on a bus is probably an hour and a half and the median wait time probably clocks in at a speedy 1 hour and 29 minutes. Since most of my research involves creating matrices and analyzing data I can assure you my numbers are correct. If I fail a class because the bus shows up late, I’ll probably die of laughter knowing that out of all things the god damn bus company was my demise.

For those reading thinking to yourself “well why don’t you just get on the bus earlier,” there’s a 60% chance you failed health in high school and a 40% chance your mom is also a hoe. After working at a summer camp for 5 years I can tell you the hardest thing for people ages 16–30 to do is think logically and make rational decisions. The aforementioned class that I could possibly fail if I were late is at 12:30pm and if you think I’m lazy for not getting up earlier to get on the bus, you’re absolutely right. I am lazy. Being lazy is an absolute weakness of mine, so to counteract this I make sure that I have regularly scheduled lazy time. There are times definitely times to work hard, like the day before the test or at 2am and then there are times I want to sit at home and do nothing. Thursday morning is a prime time in my body cycle to do this.

Every great idea I’ve had has happened at 2am, whether it be fixing my boss’s dvd player, burning a slideshow onto a playable disc or literally any of my greatest feats I have accomplished in the past year. I have slaved away for my boss for hours on end while his UVA son looks at me and tries to mock me for my eduction. We’ll see who makes more in the next 10 years Steve. No one told me how hard it would be to create a slideshow on a disc with hardware from 2008, no publishing software, a plethora of broken dvd writers and a support cast who have no idea how technology works. And by 5am there I was with a working DVD to stand for my efforts. Do you know how much credit I got? None because true G’s work in silence like lasagna. So yeah will I show up to this class on time and not fail the class, will BT get me to class on time? Will my TA know more than me about the subject matter? Tune in next time I get bored and decide to create another one of these. Let me know what you guys want to hear about.

~Andrew aka C++ god aka Matlab Wizard

G Bush

Written by

G Bush