“You OK?” Layoff Etiquette for Survivors

Layoffs are a harsh reality of today’s Corporate world, yet appropriate behavior is not typically discussed or taught.

No matter how it’s positioned — workplace actions, workforce reductions, downsizing — layoffs are a harsh reality of today’s Corporate world. Somewhat of a taboo topic, how to act is rarely addressed. Having been both a victim and a survivor over the years, I’ve made some observations.

The shoe has dropped. People may have been bracing for it, but when rumors become reality they are faced with managing their reactions. Whispered conversations and cryptic phone calls become the communication channels of choice while email inboxes are eerily quiet. Everyone is trying to figure out who has been or will be affected. There is both fear and curiosity. I observed one creative individual send a BCC blind-copy email to multiple people with the message, “You OK?” Efficient yes, but maybe not well received if you were not “OK.” Be respectful. Refrain from creating and sharing rift lists. In due time, you will learn who is gone.

Did someone die? Well no, not literally, but emotional reactions to layoffs can mirror the stages of grief and the office will be as quiet as a morgue. After spending most of your waking hours with your coworkers, suddenly losing a member of your “work family” can be a tough adjustment. There can be shock, denial, anger, sadness…you get the idea. Remember it’s a difficult day for everyone, even those delivering the bad news. Quiet and reserved is the appropriate behavior at this time.

Survivor guilt. People who occupied chairs in team meetings or whose work space was just around the corner are gone, but you’re not. It’s a natural reaction to feel relief, then guilt, and then awkwardness around those people. While avoidance may be easier, taking the step towards the person will probably make both of you feel better. “I’m sorry this happened to you,” “Let me help you carry your stuff,” or perhaps different “bro-language” that comes easier. Most importantly, make the first move, then take their lead. I guarantee they’ll appreciate it.

Remember, it’s business. There are always exceptions, but the majority of the time layoff selections are made based upon business reasons like job function or salary amount, not because of poor performance. Regardless and inexplicably, there still can be a stigma attached to being laid off. Make a conscious effort not to perpetuate that. Don’t make it personal, other than to positively support those who are affected.

The body is barely cold and management is in move-forward mode. Seemingly callous, but not surprising given the reasons driving layoffs in the first place. While it may feel like someone picked up the office and turned it upside-down, everyone is expected to stand up, brush themselves off, and get back to it. As difficult as this can be, it’s important to return to productivity. The train is leaving the station whether or not you are on it; better to be on board.

Don’t bash the victims. Yes, you’re getting extra work dumped on you and no, you’re not happy about it, but trashing the previous person’s performance won’t reflect positively on you. If it’s necessary to share the challenges you’re having, keep to the facts and avoid the eye-rolls and innuendo.

How about coffee? After a week or so, reach out to your former coworkers. Maybe mail a card, send a text, or give them a call. Invite them to non-work events with the work family and make them feel welcome. Or plan to meet them for breakfast, lunch or drinks — in whatever way you are comfortable, be supportive. If appropriate, you can offer to write them a reference. Any of these gestures will help to lessen the isolation oftentimes felt by the victims as they’re adjusting to their new normal. Even if you put it off, it’s never too late to do it.

Layoffs aren’t easy for anyone, but following a few rules of etiquette can lessen the ugliness of a business situation that’s playing out every day across the globe. No matter what cards you are dealt, taking purposeful positive action will serve you well.