New Year

I begin writing this post at 11:11PM on 1/1/2016. No, I’m serious: I sadly couldn’t finish this in one minute to prove it. To be honest the realization came too slowly for any coherent wish to be made. I don’t even make wishes for fun much lately anyway.

The start of the new year, 2016, came with an expected day off and then a missed call and voicemail from work. Work still went on, people called off, the perfume section had no one. I had the option to back out but as much as I wanted to stay and chill I didn’t want to leave my managers struggling (also last opportunity for holiday pay hehe). I took the shift, got ready as quickly as I could and zoomed off to work.

The mall is as interesting as it is frustrating to work at. I didn’t initially go into the job thinking I’d be having the time of my life at the mall — no, I braced myself for the huge waves of people, their demands and their varying attitudes. I also have had to learn how to choke back those internal anxiety attacks that make me want to put my notice of leave in so that I don’t have to deal with people again. And yet I only play with the idea and go in to work on time as usual.

So far everything has been well: Clients are more polite and distant than rude and in my face; however we have such a huge influx of clients that that means there’s still a lot of assholes that cross my or my coworkers’ paths. I’ve always been patient with workers in service-related jobs but taking this retail job has given me a new perspective thanks to the first-hand experience of how demanding, selfish and just mean people can be. I always try to offset that by remembering the sweethearts that made me see a future working at Sephora, the genuine gratefulness and understanding — that literally makes me so happy to have made someone’s day even in a little way.

But let’s get back to the assholes. Today the mall was packed — everyone with a day off and a fresh paycheck perhaps came to the mall in droves. They wasted no time destroying my fragrance displays that I work so hard to keep neat and professional looking; tester strips were strewn about as most adults mirror their children and can’t clean up after themselves; and then the first person to ask me for perfume samples started a domino effect and everyone started to ask me for a sample (then bring another bottle for another sample).

I have really gotten used to this and I’ve learned to expect it and keep a smile even while internally annoyed, getting a headache from all the perfume. I’ve learned how to know already when people are going to get a little extra and ask for more so I grab extra bottles and bags. I’ve practiced looking at my area while preparing the little bottles so no shoplifting happens on my watch. And I’m still trying to manage my stress when 3–4 unrelated people come at me with questions about makeup, out-of-stock product, or price checks. I swear, it never fails to happen when I’m busy and never when I have down time.

I’ve done my best to be decent at my job and I’ve overall done okay at seeing people’s problems through with a smile. I’m not a people-person, and at Sephora we are instructed to treat the floor like a stage — so much so the terminology we are required to use for the store floor is “onstage” (and the back is “backstage”, cute lol). With this theatrical theme it’s no surprise we are suggested to “play” a character if our natural personalities aren’t aligned with the ideal customer service (it is a makeup store after all). Not to garble the “girls who wear makeup are fake” argument but with my made-up face I also make up a little more confidence, and I let my natural patience become more exaggerated and superhuman.

Tonight though I was only human. Working on New Years wasn’t the ideal plan to celebrate it in comparison to how I could have spent the day with my family or actually shopped for myself for once. But entering the retail workforce during the holiday season and literally starting my first day on Thanksgiving the holidays have lost a little (read: a lot) of their magic sheen and my natural cynicism has only further shaped even the socially-deemed celebratory days as just another day. I was alone on Thanksgiving, I was tired on Christmas Eve and I was tired on New Years Eve. Mine really isn’t the saddest story in the world but it just goes to show how holiday retail really is a money-making machine and I’m a sweet-smelling cog.

But today was the first time I’ve been personally put into a bad mood by a client. Excuse me while I go into storytelling mode.

Once upon a time this girl (bitch) with her boyfriend in tow was on the hunt to redeem her free bottle of perfume. I don’t know how they get them but it’s not the first time to see this card. We’ve just recovered from the holidays and understandably we haven’t fully re-stocked either. Our initial meeting was brief but I saw the outline of her personality. They were going to hunt solo. The boyfriend asks for my help determining which Prada Candy is the right one (there’s three different versions) but I do my employee magic and show them the obvious original with no special tag lines. Girlfriend snottily rebuffs it — she didn’t like it. I got my second dose. They say they were going to keep looking, I smile and go back to my safe spot.

Fast forward an estimated 15 minutes later and he asks me for help again. It’s always him speaking. She likes the Tori Burch but we apparently don’t have the redeemable size. I’m familiar with this because other people want the smallest size of that scent but we either sold out (or never had it to begin with, I can’t even remember). I tell them we’re out of it, apologize and offer to help her look for the other perfumes. She must have really liked Tori Burch, she’s not giving up and asks if we have any more in the back. I reassure her without having to check we don’t have it.

He asks if they could just order it online and redeem through that. I take their card, read the first fucking sentence that says “this card may not be redeemed on Sephora online or Sephora JC Penny’s” for them, and then the girlfriend, all hovering with her bad attitude, asks if I know when we’ll have any back in stock. I parrot what one of my managers said and tell her I couldn’t even tell her until the trucks come with the shipments (basically I have no control or hand in what stock we order or receive). Thinking that would be a friendly way to get the point across again that we just don’t have it she finally opens her mouth, in full spoiled white girl voice, “That’s ridiculous. Shouldn’t you know when you’re even going to be getting your shipments in.” Girl was not even cute enough to be getting an attitude like that lol.

It was at this moment I realized that underneath my general good-naturedness and politeness I have a temper. Because forgetting my position as a worker I had this sudden urge to yell at her and say something to make her cry. But I contained that demon, but not enough that my annoyance couldn’t be seen. I could physically feel my face exuding irritation, and I never do that. And it must have been apparent enough because the boyfriend, sensing the tension, tells his girlfriend that “it’s not her fault, baby.” But nevertheless I quickly offer suggestions of what I know we have and walk away. I bitchily stormed off, I know I did. I just had to get away from her because talking to her made me more pissed off. I went back to my safe spot and simmered in my anger.

You may be thinking what’s the big deal? I suppose in this instance it was a “you had to be there” moment but the condescension, entitlement and just shitty attitude around her pushed me. I can almost even say I have never had that kind of tension with anyone because I’ve lived such a non-confrontational life. But anyway, she came by looking for the Gucci option (which I already knew based on another client) and she tried to throw some attitude at me by saying it’s probably not the right size. It was. I knew it was. I gave the fakest smile.

But I just had to write that encounter out into words. The first day of the year and more people stay the same than anything.

PS: I literally took a whole hour to write this. Where did that hour come from? lol