If Kalyeserye Was A Drama || Paalam Na Aking Mahal
Nidora stood behind the living room window and stared at Anselmo for the longest time. It was hard to see him through the vines that crawled up the walls of the mansion and the moon as the only light outside, but she did. It was selfish, she realized, to have him stand there and wait when she could’ve opened the door and said hi.
“Nidora!” Anselmo shouted, making Nidora’s heart skip a beat and her eyes land on the wooden door. “Nidora! Alam kong naririnig mo ako! Parang awa mo na lumabas ka na. Nidora!”
“Sino ba yang nasa labas?” Miguel said, his voice low as he came bounding down the steps with a cigar hanging off the corner of his mouth. He stood behind Nidora and wrapped his arms around her. “Mahal, kilala mo ba siya?”
“Maghahating gabi na, bakit gising ka pa?”
“Wala ka kasi sa tabi ko.”
Nidora forced a smile on her face and turned to give him a quick peck on his cheek. “Aakyat din ako mamaya.”
Drawing in a breath, Miguel cupped Nidora’s face with his hands, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks as his eyes darted against hers. “Wag kang magpatagal.”
Nidora nodded and leaned in to press a kiss on his lips. “Pangako,” she said quietly. “O, siya, maaga ka pa bukas. Paalisin ko lang bisita natin sa labas.”
“Kilala mo ba siya?”
“Dating manggagawa ni mama sa palayan.”
Miguel looked over Nidora’s shoulder to stare at the man outside of their home, a look of annoyance strewn across his face as the man kept yelling for his fiance to come out. “Sigurado ka bang kaya mo siyang kausapin magisa? Pwede naman ako — “
“Kaya ko, Miguel.”
Narrowing his eyes at Nidora, Miguel studied her for a brief moment, questions suddenly barring his mind because of how Nidora was acting. He chalked it up to the tire she must’ve felt after a long day of jumping from one plantation to another, and decided to let it go. “Nandito lang ako kapag kailangan mo ako.”
“Alam ko,” she said. “Sige na, maaga ka pa bukas. Ayokong magaway nanaman tayo dahil kulang yang tulog mo.”
Miguel chuckled and pulled her to his chest before saying goodbye. “Paalisin mo na siya, Nidora,” he called out as he disappeared into their room. “Kung hindi yung buong baranggay ang magpapaalis sa kanya.”
Closing her eyes, Nidora drew in a deep breath to calm down the nerves that wracked her body. Kaya ko ‘to she thought to herself as she moved one foot in front of the other and crossed the small distance to the door.
“Nido — “
“Tulog na mga tao, Anselmo,” she said as she stepped out the door, hoping and praying that she looked calm despite the fact that she felt like her heart was going to beat itself right out of her chest any second. To say his name after so many months felt foreign to her that she chanted it over and over again in her head. “Anong ginagawa mo dito?”
“Anong ginagawa ko dito?!” He asked, stunned. So much so that all he could do was shake his head as he threw his hands up in the air. “ Naghintay ako, Nidora! At noong hindi ka nagpakita, hinanap kita! Tapos malalalaman ko na lang sa dyaryo na ikakasal ka na pala?!”
“Nidora, wag,” he said, shaking his head. “Hayaan mo munang tapusin ko yung gusto kong sabihin bago ka magsalita. Kasi natatakot ako na pagnarinig ko boses mo, makakalimutan ko kung bakit pumunta pa ako dito.”
“Ans — “
“Nidora. Ngayon lang. Parang awa mo na. Patapusin mo muna ako,” he said, cutting her off as he looked off to the side, right past the towering trees and towards the plantation that reminded him of that fateful afternoon all those years ago. “Nangako tayong dalawa na kahit anong mangyari, na kahit sinong pumigil, ikaw at ako sa huli. Natatandaan mo ba yun?”
“Oo, alam ko na siya yung gusto ng mama mo. Alam ko din na malaki ang mawawala sayo at sa pamilya mo paghindi mo ‘to ginawa. Pero naman, Nidora!” he said, his voice cracking at the end as he turned away with tears brimming in his eyes. “Ngayon pa lang aaminin ko na pag lahat nawala sayo, mananatili ako dito sa tabi mo. Na tutulungan kitang hanapan ng paraan ang kahit anong problema na darating sa’yo kahit wala naman akong masyadong maibigay, dahil ako, sarili ko, alam kong ibibigay ko sa’yo.”
Nidora sighed as she took him in, her heart breaking at what she was thinking, at what she was about to do. “Patawad, Anselmo,” she said, avoiding his gaze.
“Hindi ko kailangan ng paumanhin mo, Nidora,” he said. “Ikaw kailangan ko.”
“Pero nangako ako.”
“Kanino?!” He said as he took her by the wrists, panic rising up from his feet as he looked at her pleadingly. “Sa kanya?! Sa mama mo? Nidora, sarili mo naman isipin mo!”
“Nidora nangako ako,” he said with one last bit of defiance in his voice. “Sumumpa ako sa’yo na kahit anong hirap, hinding hindi ako bibitiw. Dahil kapag ganito kaimportante yung nasa harap mo pinaglalaban diba?”
“Anse — “
“Punyeta naman, Nidora, yan lang ba kaya mong sabihin?!”
Closing the gap between them, Nidora wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself as close as he let her. When she felt his arms finally wrap around her, she squeezed her eyes shut to stop herself from falling apart. Her knees buckled and she could feel them shaking slightly as she moved back and forth, suppressing the urge to let out a sob. Slowly, she felt a knife carve a hole inside of her, tears rolling down her cheek as she buried her face into his chest that cried with her.
Memories flooded her, like an old movie reel that’s perpetually being played in the back of her mind. Nidora saw herself walking through the plantation on that fine January afternoon, the wind blowing through her face with the sun shining brightly above her. She saw Anselmo with his back turned, sweat beading down the side of his face as he relentlessly hacked on the sugar canes before setting them aside in a pile. She saw how he looked at her when he realized that she’d been watching, and how his eyes softened when they met hers with a sense of certainty she knew she’d never feel with Miguel.
Her heart sank as the memories slowly flew out of her grasp, bit and pieces of it like his laugh that would always sing with her underneath the night sky, suddenly fading into nothing.
“Alam mo?” Nidora began as she pulled away and cupped his face with her hands. “Mahal na mahal na mahal kita. Ikaw lang talaga, Anselmo, at ang sakit para sa akin na makita ka ng ganito,” she continued as she wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes. “Pero kailangan ko itong gawin.”
They were not both in tears, soft sobs escaping their lips. Anselmo felt his heart drop with every word that came out of Nidora’s lips, felt his heart tear as if the edges were being picked by a needle slowly. He pressed his forehead against hers, tears streaming down his face as he pushed the imminent goodbye that loomed above them aside. “Ayoko,” he choked out. “Ayokong iwanan kang mag-isa, Nidora. Ayokong hindi ka masaya. Ayokong hindi ako yung magpapasaya sa’yo — “
“Pero kailangan kong gawin — “
“Parang awa mo na,” he begged. “Wag mong gawin ‘to. Parang awa mo na.” Anselmo went down on his knees and hugged her waist, his shoulders shaking from the sobs that wracked his body. “Mahal na mahal kita, Nidora. Parang awa mo na. Wag mong gawin ‘to.”
Nidora looked away and bitterly wiped her face with the back of her hand, her lips pursed into a line as she tried to push down the pain that spread through her. She untangled herself from Anselmo’s hold and created some distance between them, daring herself to look at him through eyes that were still blurred from the tears that never seemed to stop. “Tama na, Anselmo,” she said as she tried, desperately, to pull him up from the ground. “Tapos na.”
“Wag mong sabihin yan!” Anselmo grabbed her hand and held on to it tightly. “Hahanapan natin’ ng paraan! Lahat ng problema kayang hanapan ng paraan!”
“Pakiusap, Anselmo. Tama na.”
“Hindi! Mahahanapan natin ng paraan ‘to. Kakausapin ko mama mo. Kakausapin ko si Miguel — “
Nidora shook her head ‘No’ and squeezed Anselmo’s hand once before letting go. “Tapos na, Anselmo. Nagawa ko na.”
“Mahal?” Miguel said, his voice distant as he made his way to where Nidora and Anselmo were. “Binibigyan ka ba niya ng problema?”
Closing her eyes, Nidora forced a smile on her face before facing Miguel. “Hindi, paalis na siya,” she said. She felt her body go rigid when Miguel put an arm around her and pulled her flushed against the side of his body. She turned to face Anselmo, her eyes locked into his as she looked at him for one last time. She put it all into memory — how he always towered over her, how he looked at her with his deep brown eyes that always made her feel safe, even now, under the pallid moonlight with tears streaming down his face. “Patawad,” she mouthed as she excused herself from Miguel, took in a deep breath, stood tall in front of Anselmo and said. “Paalam, Anselmo. Umuwi ka na. Hindi ka na namin kailangan dito.”
Played around with the parallels between Divina and Nidora’s life!
I’m sorry kung medjo sabog especially with the tagalog from that era! I really tried huhuh
Hope you still enjoyed it!
Let me know what you think by tweeting or commenting your favorite quotes/lines, suggestions, violent reactions haha (ninnabautista)
Nosebleed pa more! Thank you natnatskie06 for helping me with the Tagalog! Lamyu!!