Do you remember the first time your heart broke?
When you think of heartbreak, do you equate it to your first love? The first time you fell in love with someone you thought was your entire world, only to later realise that he or she wasn’t your person… Well my first heartbreak wasn’t the late-teen relationship I had experienced during the early years of university, my heart first broke much earlier, even before I could comprehend what heartbreak was.
8
My heart first broke at 8, when I lost someone so precious to me, someone that I dreamt and wished for but now won’t dare to ask for anymore… the person who broke my heart unintentionally was my baby sister. When she passed, the world shifted, my views on life, my parents, and myself took a 180 degree turn… It’s only now become apparent to me that the reason why I find myself struggling to form relationships be it friends or lovers, it’s because though deep down inside I strive for connection, for love, the feeling of warmth, one thing that keeps me in check is fear of losing them. How can you lose something if it wasn’t there to begin with? This in turn has allowed me to develop an internal switch. When the switch is on, I allow myself to build those relationships to the best of my abilities, when the switch is off, I detach…
