Our Self Judgemental Voice.

There is a self-judgemental voice inside our head. It is constantly judging our actions against our standards and adjusting our self-image accordingly. The byproduct of this process is our self-esteem.

Integrity — Alignment between what we know is right and our actions, is a fundamental criterion on which our voice judges us. Lying. Tricking others. Rationalizing. If we do these things deep down we know we are fake and voice won’t let us take any big step. But if you are the kind of person who keeps his words. Honest. Truthful. The voice knows your caliber and it won’t let you do the small things. It is insane to see the length we go to prove the voice we are worthy but you can’t trick the voice, It knows your intentions and judges you accordingly.

Success and failure — When we are pursuing a goal, our performance is being judged severely. If we succeed voice is proud, if we fail a self-crucifixion is in order. When we want to reach to some place, it has very little to do with us and very much to do with the map we are holding. Voice never doubt the map ( given that we have one ), only us and it is always the map that is faulty. The vague understanding and foggy goals lead to low self-esteem. It is extremely important to have a clear understanding of the process of learning and sharp goals. Voice knows when you are leaving the battleground because of lethargy or emotions.

Social judgment — When voice looses trust in our integrity, it tries to compensate it by other people’s opinion about us. The less self-trust we have more weight social judgments will have. And we start to prove ourselves to other and compete with them. The more we try to gain social approval by lying and pretending, the more self-integrity we loose and the more need to gain approval arises. A downward spiral.

The voice judges us against the standards, the set of ideas and beliefs we have considered true. what are the sources of these standards?

Media — Ready-made, perfect, no effort, all good, happily ever after, who wouldn’t like that map of a magic land. Where alcohol makes your mind sharp. A drug addict is a calm and compassionate person. Lying and cheating and still, you have a tender heart. The only problem is, it is a map of sewage, stamped as a map of a haven. And of course, when you walk on it and it is not leading towards heaven, there has to be something wrong with you because for the voice map can not be wrong.

Social-Proof — Fundamentally someone else’s thoughts, understanding or realization. Someone else’s map. But what is the source of their Map? Media? Social proof? Years of research and Analysis? Their own direct experiences? Accordingly, people’s intentions vary from convincing you, impressing you, expressing themselves, or out of compassion and care for you. When someone is speaking from experiential standpoint or strong objective analysis or research, it is a gift of knowledge, listen to them. If someone is speaking out of compassion listen even more carefully. Take other person’s source and intention into account but even when we understood someone’s point of view logically and agree with it. Still, we need to internalized it with our realization.

Experiential-knowledge — We have the faculty of observation and intellect which is capable of understanding without support. We are capable of building our standards based on our reality and our experiential understanding. Not some fantasies or ideas but direct perception. When our map is such our actions become automatically inline with our standards and integrity is an obvious byproduct. So is our self-esteem.

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