It’s happening again

I was broke, Lost, Weak
Unable to sleep
Don’t know what to do with my life,
It was 8 years ago.
Even I was not sure, “Was it recoverable?”
I was feeling like dying.

The reason was a girl dumped me.
But bad time passed, I focused on my career.
Moved to different cities, Change my phone no, made new friends.
One thing was clear to me, I will never love someone until I get married.
For the next 8 year, I keep my promise to myself.
I have multiple crushes but I never fall for someone.
From inside it always feel empty, But I was sure I don’t want to feel the same pain again.

Things have changed now, I am 26 now, parents force me to get married.
Finally, I met someone from a random dating website.
I was not sure about meeting her, confused, scared. But we are texting for a month.
We decide the day, It was a rainy day with the thunderstorm, I think some forces trying to examine me. but we met at a restaurant.

Funny thing is I received her interest the day I registered, I don’t know its a coincident, or some energy trying to connect us.

First time I saw her, I feel like

“God please help me with this girl I will be forever in your debt, I will not demand anything in my life again”.

But after a 30 minutes conversation, I Understand she is way above my pay grade.
She is a Beautiful, Cute, hot, intelligent, practical but baby like inside. (It will take another post to cover how is she). I am not matched to her.

Someday I feel like sad, tense about office work and career stuff but she is like a Soanpari (Magician), after texting her for a minute it always goes away. It’s getting stronger every day, addictive too, one hour without texting her feel like a decade.

Today is the 5th time I met her, I don’t know how she feels about me, But I feel the same way I feel when I met her for the first time.

I really want to marry her. She is not sure about me. I think I am crazy and going through the happiest time of my life.

To be continued…