Lesson on trust
To be able to trust is hard. Trust on others, trust on oneself.
But to live/exist without trust makes day-to-day life even harder and more so miserable within. One loses peace and there is so much discomfort/restlessness within.
Why is there no trust? There is fear inside. There are insecurities within. And mind wants to fiercely protect from untoward fears and insecurities. Because it feels vulnerable.
When more than 1 person is involved(family, relationships), such mind tendency does not let the relationship blossom, love blossom. Infact, in an effort to protect, one loses comfort/peace within oneself.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi
These tendencies in mind are the barriers. People around you feel those barriers and then they decide to draw lines/boundaries within their mind on how to behave with you. And relationship(even friendly, business) cannot grow in such atmosphere. Person on other side wants to feel that he is trusted, wants to feel the warmth to grow the relationship.
Eventually, one becomes a loner because it does not trust the world around us. It sees everyone with a doubtful eye and in the end, loses happiness.
Above was my mind story. And I am realizing now as I have been working with a real estate agent to find community center. I also observed one of my colleague and how she handled the agent. She completely trusted him — just good faith. The way I treated him in first few interactions were from the space of untrust-worthiness.
And the difference, agent felt home with my colleague and he was willing to give more to her than me. My colleague brought the feeling of warmth in that space.
I did not make the agent feel comfortable. To some extent, it was ok and necessary for me to play that role. But lesson for me in observation was that if I had to play the role of my colleague, I could not have. And I was miserable within — unhappy — because I had so many doubts on the agent. After 3 site visits, I could say that he is not that bad. He was trying to get our business and was aggressive about it. My perception was blurred.
But I realized that this agent was just a trigger for fears in my mind. I have behaved similarly in the past. Because my mind tendency gets triggered with other relationships in the past. I close myself, shrink myself mentally, less receptive and unable to make myself vulnerable.
Letting go…. letting go… of the fears and insecurities. May our minds let go such fears and insecurities …and we are able to just relax….