You and I know each other only to the degree of our projections. We, humans, embody duality most graciously and subtly. Each one of us embodies two sides; the divine & the dark.
The dark side of us is the traits that are not upheld by society at large because they outlaw the set societal agreements. As the dark sides are “not acceptable” traits of a person, they often go unheard and unattended and whatever goes unheard and unattended comes out with great intensity when given an outlet.
Our society has always upheld a person’s divine or good side; we have been taught from childhood how “being good” leads to acceptance, which invariably gives us a sense of identity and social psychological security. We bring whatever society encourages to the surface because nobody wants to “feel” left out. In the process of “fitting in”, we completely ignore our dark side, which has been left unattended for years.
I was a stranger to this side of me because I hadn’t experienced them before directly. So, when I started living my dark side, I experienced all the emotions with a heightened intensity. I did not feel like my usual self. However, with time I could navigate my way through these emotions to come to terms with my dark side.
Here are a few points that helped me navigate through my dark side:
1. Acknowledge — The first and essential aspect is acknowledging our dark side. Because our dark side lies latent, we are likely to get defensive when it resurfaces in certain situations and certain phases of our life. Instead of getting defensive about it, the best approach is to accept it. I was defensive when I first came to face with my dark side. But the day I acknowledged it was the day I made peace with it.
2. Accept — Once I acknowledged my dark side, it was easy for me to accept it. Once we accept something, it’s half the battle won. Acceptance is forgiving yourself for the choices that have hurt you.
3. Soothe your dark side when it resurfaces -There are days when the dark side shows up unexpectedly, and on those days, the best thing you can do is appease it with patience. Yes, have patience with yourself and don’t act upon all your emotions. Emotions are a wonderful aspect of humans, but we don’t need to act on all our emotions. Acting upon all our emotions can work against our well-being at times. Know yourself well enough to know what’s best for you.
4. Channelize your energy into something that will help you grow -Once we learn to soothe our dark side, it is essential to channel our emotional, mental & physical energy into something that will help us grow. I recommend you to start with something that you love and something that comes to you very organically. What worked in my case was fitness and writing. Fitness activities helped me streamline my physical energy. On the other hand, writing gave me a creative outlet to express my latent self and helped me channel my mental energy.
4. Prioritize your life -Never before have I felt that I am running short of time and have too much to work on and explore. Our priorities will pave the way for our future selves. Be mindful of your priorities. Make sure your preferences include things and people that will help nurture your growth.
5. Narrow down on your distractions until you can zero down on them -Once you have your priorities sorted, narrow down on all the aspects of your life that aren’t fostering your growth. These aspects of life can be engaging in certain activities, people, social media, or anything that depletes your precious energy.
6. Take each day as it comes -It’s a new day every day so take each day as it comes. I learned that we need to commit to our growth every day; we can’t bask in the glory of our accomplishments ( emotional, mental, physical & financial) for too long.
7. Talk to a friend — You don’t have to go through this process alone. Bottling your emotions does more harm than good. We all have a friend in our life with whom we feel safe, so reach out to that trusted friend over your favourite drink and share your story. Sharing not only makes you feel lighter, but it also helps you view things from a new & fresh perspective.
We are all connected through our unique journeys and experiences. When we connect through our stories, we help build each other. I hope there was a takeaway from my recent experience that will help you navigate your self-awareness and self-acceptance journey.
