Love for Self, the Ultimate Love
Purpose in Life. Know Thyself.
This is my Purpose, to Know Thyself.
I work at this. Everyday. I am doing it my way. On my accord. I do this, alone. By alone, I mean, I choose not to engage in Partnered Love. (For the time being, I choose this).
“I work at this. Everyday.” What do they mean by this, one may ask, or not ask. I ask. All that matters, is that I ask the questions. The answers bring me slowly to a Truth, like a stroll to the period at the end of a sentence. Thing is, none of my questions have a straight answer to them. I delight myself with the questions I ask myself. For, in the end, we are ever evolving on the path to Enlightenment. I am, at least.
I want to know, who I am. From my view. From this desk of which I express my sentiments, as I look out onto my deck. As I look at a picture of my mother, whom has passed away. The photograph is black and white and taken in the late 60’s. I look to her, as I ask questions. She guides me through my path, still, today.
I have decided to Bust through my own Boundaries, and get to that Truth of myself. The truth, ever twisted, ever unraveled, ever twisted, ever unraveled.
Today, it is this.
I have recognized, that clarity, is the chaperone to this Quest. Full body clarity. Meaning, I void myself of toxins, such as alcohol, other drugs, and toxic foods. I am in constant detox. I include a morning drink of Apple Cider Vinegar and Juice, as well. I include supplements and vitamins. I include muscle toning and Yoga stretches. I include Meditation. I include laughter. I include any tear waiting to drop. All, body clarity. For in my quest, a clear body equates to a Clear Mind, a Clear Soul.
I rid myself of what I have been taught. I strip myself of the boundaries placed upon me. Expectations sought from me, by others. I am going to do things my way. For, I was born independently from anyone else, and I will die independently, too. It is my mission to know who I am. Mission aborted when I live through the expectations of this world, when I live alongside the parameters of the illusions to the Rules. The illusions of the “Good Life.” (Married, house, child perfectly behaved, financial investments, retirement fund, and so on.) The “Good Life”, is made up. It is an illusion of which I had reached for, only to understand this. “This is not me.”
Here I am. Single by choice, co-parenting our first grader, living in a 2 level studio loft, I have little money, I have no retirement, and my child is well-behaved, but not perfect. (Thank goodness, for I welcome flaws.)
I am thrilled. Thrilled to live this way. For Single-by Choice, I am not flirting with the art of co-dependency. For living in a a 2 level studio loft, I have downsized my belongings. For having little money, makes me think about what I need vs what I want. For having no retirement fund, well,…Ha! Having a retirement fund would actually be quite nice. Having the imperfect child is expected and gives me a chance to teach him better ways. (This goes both ways, for he teaches me too.)
This is what I know.
I can do this thing called life, on my own. Busting my own Boundaries, and creating New Flaws. I do not seek what I want. I look right here, and know that I have all I need. Myself.
I pick myself up, when I fall.
I hold myself tightly, and let go.
I love myself, better than anyone else could.
I bring myself flowers.
I have 3 bucks in my pocket saved for my son’s weekly donut.
I have a body that is strong.
I have a mind that continues to breathe.
I have a Soul that exudes lust for life.
I have imperfections that will never be perfect.
I have new flaws in the making, as we speak.
And, all I am going to do now, is Breathe.