Should autistics mask their autism?
Whether your knowledge on autism comes from medical professionals/researchers, “autism parents,” autistic people themselves, or a mix of the three, it’s near impossible that you’ve never heard anything about stopping autistic traits, be it in the form of encouraging an autistic child to stop or an autistic person stopping themself from performing these behaviors. Though, the act of hiding these autistic behaviors is a controversial one. Many non-autistic people adamantly stand by the effort to make autistic people “indistinguishable” from the general population, while autistics tend to argue that the act of suppressing these traits does nothing but cause harm. In this article, I’ll run through the matter of masking and which of these claims — if either of them — hold up.
What is masking?
Masking is the act of suppressing one’s natural behavior under a metaphorical “mask,” specifically with the purpose of fitting in. Masking is not at all exclusive to autism and can happen with any neurotype. A neurotypical may pretend to be interested in something their friends are interested in. A person with ADHD may prevent themself from fidgeting until they’re alone. A person with OCD may try to ignore their compulsions because they’re in front of others. A schizophrenic person may avoid responding to any auditory hallucinations while they’re in public. These are all examples of masking.
Masking is best known as a neurodivergent experience due to how far neurodivergent people stray from the norm, thus how much more often we’d have to mask to fit in. While most neurodivergent groups feel the need to mask if they want to avoid seeming “weird,” autism in particular is the most heavily associated with masking, and autistic people usually end up masking more than most allistic neurodivergent people due to how pervasive our differences are. Suppressing stims, not visibly reacting to or accommodating sensory triggers, not discussing special interests, pretending to understand social cues, and forcing typical body language are all examples of masking methods common with autistic people.
The case for unmasking
Unmasking can have many benefits, and masking can have many detriments. Masking can make someone exhausted, especially when done constantly. When you’re consistently avoiding using any of your coping mechanisms, suppressing your reaction to distress, making yourself move in unnatural ways, and overall refusing the chance to regulate yourself and be yourself, it’s going to wear you down. In some cases, this can lead to autistic burnout, which results in chronic exhaustion, erosion and/or loss of previously established skills, (more commonly known in the mainstream as “autistic regression”) and an increase in stress-related traits. (E.G. stimming more, stricter reliance on predictability, more frequent meltdowns/shutdowns, worsening sensory issues)
Masking oftentimes also causes an erosion in one’s sense of self and coping skills, overall. Many people mask for so long that it becomes a constant, subconscious habit; depending on the age this happens or how long it’s done, people may not remember that they ever “acted autistic” in the first place. This can cause people to struggle to unmask, forget how they naturally act and really are, and forget how to regulate themself in ways that function best with their autistic nervous system.
Though unmasking cannot reverse any of the aforementioned effects once they happen, it can help prevent them from happening in the future and encourage recovery from these experiences. When someone lifts the pressure of behaving “normally,” they’re better able to accommodate themself. Many people report that unmasking aided them in the process of learning more about themself and reconnecting with their identity. Unmasking can also be an act of rebellion against a society that expects you to mask, and thus can be empowering for many autistic people.
The case for masking
Section TW: mentions of ableism, racism, (specifically towards Black and Brown people) and police brutality & killings
However, just because masking has detriments and unmasking has benefits does not mean that the opposite isn’t true. Though masking can put someone at risk for mental health problems (and physical health problems resulting from such), not masking can also put someone’s social, occupational, and physical well-being at risk.
As stated, society expects everyone to fit into a strict set of molds, one of which is “neurotypical.” When you don’t fit into that mold, you’re expected to “develop past it.” When you don’t outgrow these obviously divergent characteristics, (or at least pretend to) you oftentimes face repercussions for it. Most neurotypicals aren’t autism-aware, let alone autism-accepting. This lack of understanding oftentimes results in worse treatment, ranging from avoidance to outright abusive behavior.
This is exacerbated (or perhaps caused) by how many autistic behaviors are seen as signs of “craziness,” over-emotionality, rudeness, coldness, or “stupidity.” (Some of which are ableist in and of themselves; how kind you are to someone should not be affected by their mental health or intelligence) This also bleeds into employment, in which many employers see job applicants displaying visible autistic traits and refuse to hire them, regardless of whether or not they’d actually be good for the job. Not only that, but even once acquiring a job, many autistic people are still mistreated by their employers and coworkers.
In the worst case, not masking can put one’s life in danger, particularly if you’re Black/Brown. Things like meltdowns, emotional dysregulation, differing social skills, difficulty comprehending instructions, and a lack of eye contact are all viewed as strange, uncooperative, and/or suspicious in White individuals, which is magnified when even the most innocuous things can get you seen as these by default. Displaying these traits at the wrong place and the wrong time can easily involve the police being called, which can even more easily lead to being hurt or killed for it.
Aside from the fact that displaying these traits in public runs the risk of a bystander reporting you, some medical professionals even recommend that parents of autistic people call the police when they get “out of control,” which can and has led to police killings before. And aside from the fact that police act almost eager to shoot at Black/Brown people in general, police get extremely limited (and inaccurate) training on autism, meaning that many of them likely won’t even know how to handle these traits.
Overall, despite the psychological benefits of unmasking, it can also lead to social exclusion and mistreatment, occupational discrimination, and dangers to your physical safety.
Should we have to hide our autism?
Should we have to? Of course not. In an ideal world, unmasked autism would be received with just as fair treatment as unmasked allism. However, society involves us having to adapt to survive, and the problem is that adapting does currently mean having to choose between being openly autistic and masking.
From my perspective, the current discourse surrounding masking is very black-and-white, overly such, in fact. The two common camps of “masking is the goal we should hope all People With Autism reach” and “masking is a pure, unnecessary evil” propose a false dichotomy involving the two mindsets when, in actuality, masking can be both beneficial and detrimental. Both the mindsets that you should always mask and that you should never mask come from a place of privilege, typically from people who have never had to mask long-term and those who don’t have their lives hanging in the balance of their conformity.
If anything, masking is all about balance. Radically masking can cause you undue damage from the inside, but radically unmasking can cause you undue damage from the outside. Masking should not be done constantly, but it shouldn’t be completely written off when there are situations an autistic person will encounter where the safest thing for them will be to mask. Considering the mental dangers of masking, you should minimize it and make sure you have plenty of time to recover if you do mask. Masking is best done on a carefully handled, case-by-case basis. “Safety first” goes in both directions: you should minimize masking to keep safe mentally, but still avoid writing it off when unmasking can be very dangerous in some situations.
In my opinion, this should also extend to the handling of autism by parents of autistic children; practices that encourage masking permanently/long-term and in all settings is ignorant at best and abusive at worst, but giving your child a plan regarding what to do if they can’t safely display their autistic traits (E.G. more subtle stimming, “socially acceptable” things to say/do to get away from a sensory trigger, how to feign eye contact, etc.) while assuring them that there’s nothing wrong with their autism, they’re safe to be themself in their own home, and encouraging them to tell you about any instances where they’ve felt unsafe to show their autistic traits is completely fine.
Overall, if you’re to take anything away from this, it’s that masking isn’t a black-and-white issue. It may seem to you that there’s no downside to masking or no upside to it, but all facts point towards this as a nuanced discourse.
It’s also worth noting that not everyone can mask. Though masking has picked up enough discussion that it may seem like a universal autistic experience, some autistic people are incapable of masking. If you’re looking into how to react to your or an autistic in your care’s lack of masking, it’s possible that you or they may not be able to mask, even if it’s just under specific circumstances. There’s nothing wrong with this; though masking may be a safety measure in certain situations, it’s far from a “problem behavior” if someone can’t mask. It also doesn’t make anyone any less (or any more) autistic if they’re unable to mask; autism is a spectrum with many variants, which includes masking ability.
Also to note, some people may not be able to unmask in full once they’ve gotten too caught up in the habit. However, if you or a loved one can’t fully unmask, it doesn’t have to be doom-and-gloom, either! Whether you ever unmask in full or not, taking care of yourself the best you can is the point.
