How To Make Friends 2.0

  • 54% said they always or sometimes feel that no one knows them well.
  • 56% reported they sometimes or always felt like the people around them “are not necessarily with them.”
  • 40% felt like “they lack companionship,” that their “relationships aren’t meaningful” and that they “are isolated from others.”
  • Proximity
  • Repeated, unplanned interactions
  • A setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other

How To Make Friends: Today

Friendship can broadly be broken down into three parts (as explained by this largely unnecessary graphic I made).

How To Make Friends 2.0

Here’s how I think about the new way of making friends, with a more detailed dive into each section below.

Meeting

Even though meeting people isn’t hard, meeting the RIGHT people is. You ideally want to meet people you already know have similar interests with you/you know are cool people.

Does this seem like someone you wanna be friends with?

Escalation

A scenario: you’ve met someone cool and they’re having a get together or pregame at their place. However you only know the person that invited you — how likely is it that you’ll go?

This talk was about Scientology!

Maintenance

Two things I’ve been messing around with in the relationship maintenance category: systematic spontaneity and safe online spaces.

We love trolling each other

All Of The Above

The newsletter experiment I’ve been running for the last two years is really meant to address all of the above. I ask one question per week, answer that question, and then post my favorite 3 answers in the newsletter the following week. I respond to everyone that sends me a response either way. The questions range from life tips, to deep introspection, to debates on a specific topic. I always answer and try to demonstrate some vulnerability and have found that people tend to reciprocate that.

Coda + Miscellaneous Thoughts

There are still so many ways to create and build strong relationships, but part of the battle is convincing people that experimentation in friendships is worth the investment. I‘d love to know how you’ve made better relationships in your life and I’m always down to talk about this.

  • There’s a big opportunity to help the archetype “organizers” of friend groups make events happen. Companies like JoyMode make it easier but planning is still really hard and thankless (despite the fact that supply side here is pretty dependent on those planners).
  • I have a deep respect for people that actively talk to newcomers to a group at an event. They don’t have to do that, but I’m sure the people who feel out of place really appreciate it.
  • What about 360 degree feedback reviews with your friends? I’ve learned a ton about myself through these at work, how can I find out how to be a better friend?
  • No one has quite mastered the online-offline community yet. It’s usually one or the other — but making it easy to meet people either online or offline AND transition that seamlessly to the other has yet to be cracked. Gaming communities are arguably the closest.

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Nikhil Krishnan

Nikhil Krishnan

Healthcare/Comedy at Out Of Pocket: http://outofpocket.substack.com Get Real: http://getreal.club Alum: @cbinsights @trialspark