Nkosana Malumba
Nov 7 · 3 min read

The Art of the One Man Band

The One Man Band is not a reflection of a relationship status, it is just a way of life — maybe even a personal philosophy. It is inspired by the Iona One Man Band — a red blend that transforms its taste depending on the year, how much rainfall the grapes received and other factors.

About two years ago, I realized that I had previously a lot to give — to people, to situations, to other’s ideals and expectations of me. That had left me drained, demotivated and just down-right depressed — I was unhealthy, unfulfilled and extremely unhappy. Although somewhere somehow, I convinced myself that I needed to continue down that path because it made other people happy — it fulfilled their expectations of me. I mean being useful to others is a selfless thing, right?

On one New Years Eve, I just happened to be scrolling through my twitter profile and found an article titled “The Definitive Guide To Living Your Dreams”. It was a simple read and yet so powerful — while carrying the emotion of a new beginning I decided that I’d change my life and I prayed that every obstacle fall apart as it hindered me from achieving what I had set out to do.

What followed was the loneliest and most difficult phase of my life, albeit the most transformational season I’ve ever lived through— it sent shockwaves into every corner and crevice of who I thought I was. That period was filled with so much darkness as everything around me collapsed, forcing me to surrender and trust that somewhere and somehow it was going to all work out. Many a time, I joked about how I no longer knew who I was because so much had changed in such a short space of time.

I still think this journey has only just begun — like a debut album of sorts. There is so much more to come as I continue in search of my desire of freedom and other things. The only part I still struggle with is holding onto things & experiences that put unnecessary demands on my time and capacities. However in some strange fashion, these just collapse too as if they’ve stared into the eyes of a deep truth, who’s time has inevitably come. There is also so much more that I no longer care for, it’s a pity I haven’t had much time to tell those around me. Eventually I will find the time in this transition to provide insight into the fundamental differences anyone would likely experience around me.

In essence, the journey is about creating music from pain. The One Man Band is an orchestra of one, taking all the facets a single being — including the dark and heavy bass ones — conducting them into a beautiful melody… all performing for a single maestro, to the tune of one.

Also, Emma Watson gets it, in her own way.

Sounds selfish? It is. I fully believe I have broke ground on a journey of self-actualization. After all, self actualization is a state of mind and being — not an acquisition of things.

N.B. — The One Man Band essays aren’t an invitation for you to tell me how great relationships are, why you think I should settle down or how much your significant other completes you or why I should consider having one. You are welcome to comment, share readings & articles, and also let me know how I can improve my writing or synthesizing of ideas.

Nkosana Malumba

Written by

Coffee. Jazz & All Kinds of Music. Exploration & Experiences. Books and Ideas.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade