Living Passionately: Why you should take a note from Isabel Allende

‘It’s great to let go. I should have started sooner.’

Isabel Allende is not only a Chilean writer and master of magical realism, but my role model to remind us not to take life so seriously.

In current society, so much pressure is put on our academic, social or aesthetic success that we have forgotten how to exist naturally.

‘We start ageing at birth’ says Allende. This time pressure, always at the back of our minds, causes anxiety and depression from always thinking about what we ‘should’ be doing.

Allende’s neo-enlightenment, however, results from what she has learnt in her 73 years of life – and perhaps we can evade cultural restrictions by learning her practice early: how to achieve freedom, lightness, softness, and spirituality.

1. Freedom

The universal desire is to be free. Physical and mental emancipation are the ultimate goals – something we forget when we put ourselves under pressure to perform. Allende’s first realisation is that this freedom arises through passion, not artificiality.

Building my visible identity sometimes becomes the primary focus of my ‘extra-curricular’ life. We continually change ourselves for the eyes of others, whether as subconsciously as choosing a more ‘manly’/‘feminine’ drink or as obviously as the conversations we choose to start.

Allende has succeeded in ‘not [being] stuck in the idea of who I was, who I want to be, or what other people expect me to be’.

In wasting time publicising our image for onlookers, we forget that the important self is one that should not require affirmation but instead grow freely. After all, it is the identity’s authenticity that matters.

2. Lightness

Allende urges us not to carry ‘grudges, ambition or vanity’ – a challenge we all share.

Self-improvement is not achieved through resentment or narcissism. Moving past the desire to create meaning or to judge gives you a ‘lightness’ of being that is not unbearable (as Kundera might argue), but incredibly liberating.

I found some wisdom in the form of biro-graffiti in a dingy Bristolian pub toilet which perfectly describes this problem:

‘We think too much and feel too little.’

Deep thought is rarely a bad thing, but can sometimes substitute for passion. Don’t be held back by resenting others – or yourself.

3. Softness

As Allende encourages, it is important for me to see vulnerabilities not as weaknesses but intrinsic characteristics of my identity. The ‘softness’ that results is connected to false-identity; your flaws connect you to others, so covering them only distances potential relationships.

Rather than hardening your appearance to protect yourself, allow your vulnerabilities to define your individuality and expose you to the world.

4. Spirituality

For Allende, Buddhism has become a source of peace.

Believing in something unshackles you from the need to give your life meaning – whether you are religious or not.

While writing this article I experienced several technological issues, and almost gave up on the blog completely. I then was reminded that my inspiration was born from the incredible concept of moving images embedded on an artificially-lit screen.

So appreciate the small things which at least temporarily instil passion – hot showers, wild laughter, shiver-inducing music…

Say yes to life.

– all parts of life. The positives, the negatives: they all help us grow. So if we are gentle on our pasts and learn from them, the present is not a burden but just one more pleasure.

Stop reminiscing or regretting the past. Stop thinking so much about what you want in the future. Most of all, stop doing things because it’s what culture dictates.

‘Live mindfully, and be present in the moment’.