What I’m saying is that we want to do better at separating the wheat from the chaff. If we’re direct and uncompromising in forwarding a culture of open, informed consent — a culture that says “fuck you” to slut-shame, a culture where a man can rest assured that we WILL say “yes, I want to have sex with you” in unmistakable ways (in other words, that we can be counted on, be accountable for, our share in creating the sexual moment), then good men will be less clumsy, less blind, less lost in our signals. And good men will ask. They will respect. They will listen to us, and believe us.