I am mentally ill.

I am mentally ill.

To be clinical, I experience major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). To be less clinical but more specific about the roots of my problems, I experience what is currently being called Complex PTSD or Developmental Trauma Disorder.

I am, as expressed by the therapists I work with, high functioning. I have a solid employment history. I’ve held positions of responsibility. Most people would agree I’m a bit odd, which I’m okay with — it’s accurate.

The idea of writing here is to share a bit of the bizarre headfuck that mental illness is. This will range from describing my experiences accessing treatment, the differences being mentally ill has made to my life and ability to live it compared to what I knew before, what it feels like to lose control of a part of your life and what it is that I have to live with in my mind.

Some of these topics will be intense. That’s just what they are. I was tempted to say I was sorry in advance, but in all honesty, I don’t have to be.



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