Misanthrope

I deleted my old blog a while back, but I saved all the pieces I wrote from late 2013 to early 2015. I wanted to revisit some of these because in a sense, a lot of these posts were really notes to self. Some of these thoughts have actually been guidelines to which I chose to live my life by over the past couple of years, and they have changed my life for the better…so I wanted to share. Enjoy.

I have found myself spending a massive amount of time recently trying not to become a misanthrope.

Deep down in the bottom of my soul I believe that us humans are in fact good. I think that we aren’t particularly wired for this fast paced, ever changing time in which we live and that tends to cause problems. We are distracted and overwhelmed, and in an attempt to keep up, what truly matters in life gets lost in the shuffle.

We are quick to blame but slow to take responsibility. We invest time in bringing others down, but won’t lend a hand to help them up. We are narcissistic and selfish. We demand much from others, but little of ourselves. We live recklessly at the expense of others because we know that those around us (like ourselves) are too scared to call us on our own bullshit.

When I look at the things I personally have been through, it is certainly enough to make a man bitter…and I know I am not the only one. We all have our own battles we have had to fight.

I was having a conversation (face-to-face, remember those?) with a friend this past week and she said she is “fresh out of give a damn.” It is a bummer that she feels that way, but I can honestly say I know the feeling.

The thing I have come to realize is that through life we are going to be disappointed and let down. Our hearts will be broken and tears will be shed. However, we can’t stop that from pursuing the things in life that makes it worth living, such as meaningful relationships with others.

I sometimes vent to my good friend and I was recently telling him that I am going to dedicate my life to only raising my daughter and my career. I told him I will not date anymore because there is nobody out there for me, that I will never have another business partner, and that I am going to spend all my time with my head down working for the rest of my life building a career. Of course he talked me off the ledge and I came to my senses, but it really forced me to think about some things.

We’ve all heard it before, the only thing that really matters is how we treat people and what we do to help others. Not every relationship will last forever, people grow apart. You can’t shut down your heart because of the possibility of something not working out.

Yes, you will get your heart broken and others will disappoint you (and you will do the same to others), but the key here is forgiveness and understanding. Even if someone doesn’t offer up an apology, for the sake of your own sanity you must still forgive them, and if you do wrong by someone else, apologizing is the right thing to do.

Don’t let the a bad situation taint your experiences with others in your life. Don’t become bitter because someone wronged you. On the flip side, don’t destroy relationships because your ego won’t allow you to apologize.

We are all human and we are all trying the best we can while figuring life out as we go along. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. When I look at it from this perspective it helps me to understand that we are all a work in progress, and that we can get better and improve. As long as there is that possibility for improvement, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, I still believe that this imperfect species of ours can in fact be good.

So let’s be good.

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