Damn! Those are some nice legs!

I’m really good at cartwheels. And while my legs are stellar in this shot, these legs are not what I want to talk about.

I know you’ve seen it, maybe you’ve done it yourself (I forgive you). Some guy swirling his glass, holding it up to the light and staring at it intently, and then firmly pronouncing, “Oh, those are some nice legs.”

Nice legs? Nice? What exactly does that mean? I’ll tell you. It means he knows nothing about wine and is trying to impress people. He is the worst kind of wine snob, one that has all the bad attitude with none of the knowledge. Ugh.

While you can (and probably should) ignore him, don’t ignore those “nice legs”. They can tell us something about the wine. While lots of people think that the legs, or tears, or stains of wine that stick to the glass after swirling tell them the quality level of the wine in their glass, they’re wrong. The legs tell us two main things:

1. The alcohol content of the wine.
2. The sweetness of the wine.

So let’s define these two things.

A high alcohol content wine, like Zinfandel, will have more droplets that collect on the side of the glass that then rain down the sides. Low alcohol content wines will have fewer. After you swirl your glass and coat the sides, the alcohol evaporates, allowing you to smell the aromas, and the leftover liquid drops back into the wine. This is what makes legs. And more alcohol means more legs.

Sweeter wines will be more viscous, and the legs that form post swirling will run more slowly down the glass than wines that are less sweet, aka dry.

So if you have a glass lined with legs that are moving verrrrrry slowly, you’re probably drinking a late harvest wine or a dessert wine like port. If you have a glass that doesn’t have many legs at all that are moving quickly, you’re probably drinking something like Pinot Grigio.

Next time you pour yourself a glass, take a look at those “nice legs” and take note of how many there are and how quickly they’re running (ooo! A pun!), then check out the alcohol content listed on the label. The more you do this, the more you’ll be able to guess the approximate alcohol content of the wines you’re drinking and determine what you like. Considering, in the US, manufacturers are allowed to have a 1.5% variation in what the label says and what’s actually in the bottle, this skill will help you figure out when you need to pace yourself (5 glasses of Zin at 15% hurts the next day), and when you can go back for refills (do like Ramona and go get more of that 11% Pinot Grigio)!

Cheers!