Tips for Self-Care When You’re Staying In A Haunted House

Part 5 in a Series

1. Did the curtains move? How strange; there’s no breeze today.
2. Do you want to play a game? Let’s summon a spirit. No, it isn’t a demon. This is a bog standard haunting. (Did I say bog?) Who wants to play Medium? It’s perfectly safe. (Dibs on your room.) Everybody put one finger on planchette and concentrate on asking it a question.
3. Get out of the house for an afternoon with a picnic! Take cold fried chicken and egg salad sandwiches and a thermos of coffee in a basket with a gingham cloth. Walk down the path for what seems like too long. It is too long. Where are you? Why is it dark? It’s only lunchtime. The path circles back to the house. The house doesn’t want you to leave.
4. What’s in the attic?
5. Try leaving the doors open at night. Go on, try. Now why did you do that? Doors like to be shut. They slam themselves in anger.
6. Do you like dolls?
7. Go for a swim in the above-ground pool. A little algae won’t hurt you. Isn’t the water lovely? So warm for this time of year. Oh. It seems deeper than it looked from the outside. Almost bottomless. Do you feel the hands on your legs? They’re just brushing up against you. They won’t pull you under. But don’t you want to come under? It’s nice down here.
8. Befriend the children who died here. They just want to play with you. Except that one. That one wants to hurt you. Best not upset that one.
9. Write a letter home. Fill it with disgusting lies. Fill it with terrible truths. It doesn’t matter. The postman never comes round anymore. Throw the letter in the fire.
10. There is a stain on the floor in the hallway, below the rickety staircase. It won’t come out. But maybe you are the one who will be able to scrub out that stain. Only you.

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