I’m a black hole of missingness — I’ve lost my keys. I’ve lost my hat. I’ve lost myself in thought. I’ve lost my wallet. I’ve lost my mind. I’ve even lost the dog. I’ll probably be the one to lose the nametag on my toe. Sorry, But… You never know what to expectmuddyum.net Good Intentions Intentions and worry sleep togethermuddyum.net Rate Your Pain From 1 to 10 It can’t get any worse, can it?muddyum.net

And the Darwin Award goes to, uh, um — A predator lurks dark among us. One so common, we don’t see it. This predator is not the fittest, yet it thrives in each of us. The Stupid Streak is time bomb ticking, out to kill us off, too dumb to understand it will expire when we die off, Darwin Awards the only record we were ever here on earth. Jugs The results are inmedium.com Good Intentions Intentions and worry sleep togethermuddyum.net

It’s not always a party — Bedside balloons, berthed, waiting for wind to weigh anchor, to bear aloft bracelets that tag her as prisoner. Bright balloons wither before windows open, bracelets won’t break until she gets better or dies. Beyond the Bend Going through life blindmedium.com Closed I only want what I can get, and that’s not muchmedium.com Dumpster Dress Letting go isn’t hard to domedium.com

Will the real ducks please quack up — I wonder if my row of ducks is really made of ducks at all. One prefers a garbage bin, another hoo-hoo-hoos, and why does this duck have a big beak, with a pouch to dip for fish? This duck is a helicopter, dipping tiny beak in flowers. They’re all quacks who only came to march in my parade. I Can Lose Anything I’m a black hole of missingnessmuddyum.net Good Intentions Intentions and worry sleep togethermuddyum.net

Looking for a dance instructor — When I worked, Friday was the day I happy danced, thrilled I could leave work behind, enjoy a little rest. Retirement is cause for joy, every day is Friday. Now I dance whenever I want. And I still step on my toes. Balloons and Bracelets It’s not always a partymedium.com Closed I only want what I can get, and that’s not muchmedium.com Dumpster Dress Letting go isn’t hard to domedium.com

Bad day at the diner — I ate here every night. The diner dinner not so great, but cheap and fast. In the background, waitress screaming at her husband, separating. At my table, clattered dishes, gravy spilling, cheesecake falling. Half my dinner on my blue jeans. Times were tough. I left a $20 tip. Closed I only want what I can get, and that’s not muchmedium.com Dumpster Dress Letting go isn’t hard to domedium.com

Don’t believe everything you read — She read he died. The obituary in her hand a pack of seeds, so much promise, nothing bloomed between them. She loved what couldn’t be. She loved what he wasn’t. The picture in the obituary wasn’t him. He was still alive. She felt closer to him in his death. Beyond the Bend Going through life blindmedium.com Closed I only want what I can get, and that’s not muchmedium.com

This dog is for sale — As I listed all my joys the dog sat by my leg, hoping for another scrap so he could clean the floor. A breeze from door ajar lifted list and sent it flying. The dog caught it, ate it, ran outside way faster than I could keep up. He ran through flowers, frisked in sunlight, sprinted through the sprinklers. I followed pawprints through the house to find he mange’d my meatballs, slurped up coffee from my cup, ate the chocolates in the bowl.

It can’t get any worse, can it? — It’s 15! Throbbing, stabbing, radiating. It’s a 300-pound man on my back. My legs shake from the weight. My knees buckle as I slog along. Breathing is a chore. Rolling over in bed dislocates my dreams to recover. My pain is off the scale. My pain stopped rating itself and just showed…