Your point of view is something personal to you. It is no one’s truth but yours. Then, if you get mad at me, I know you are dealing with yourself. I am the excuse for you to get mad. And you get mad because you are afraid, because you are dealing with fear. If you are not afraid, there is no way you will get mad at me. If you are not afraid, there is no way you will hate me. If you are not afraid, there is no way you will be jealous or sad. — Don Miquel Ruiz

I wish I could have the opportunity to say this to you.

I wish you would read it, and take it in, and let it permeate through out your body, mind and soul. I wish I could turn it into a liquid and inject it into your veins.

I spoke with my aforementioned old friend about you today. Speaking with him, and reading the above confirmed something I have thought all along. This really isn’t about me and what I did. I fucked up, but people fuck up. They fuck up and those that love them forgive them. This is about you, your fears, your inner anger that you hold on to so tight. I have seen it in you over the past few months. I have experienced it first hand. You are not happy with something within yourself, and thus you will not let any one else in. You have been pushing me away for sometime now, putting up a road block to our happiness.

It is very unfortunate. I know you could have been my happily ever after.

The pain is real, and it is strong. But, I must let it go. No one can change the way you feel except for yourself. There is no syringe that can suck out the fear and replace it with love. Sadly, if you do not figure out a way to do it for yourself, I fear it will destroy you.

I see your depression. I feel it. I need you to know my loyalty doesn’t waiver. My love is unconditional. My passion runs deep. My biggest fear is that I will never have the opportunity to show you that.

If you live without fear, if you love, there is no place for any of those emotions. If you don’t feel any of those emotions, it is logical that you will feel good. When you feel good, everything around you is good. When everything around you is great, everything makes you happy. You are loving everything that is around you, because you are loving yourself. Because you like the way you are. Because you are content with you. Because you are happy with your life. You are happy with the movie that you are producing, happy with your agreements with life. You are at peace, and you are happy. You live in that state of bliss where everything is so wonderful, and everything is so beautiful. In that state of bliss you are making love all the time with everything that you perceive. — Don Miquel Ruiz

I am now choosing to make love all the time with everything that I perceive. This is my new mantra, this is my new heartbeat. I wish I could share that heartbeat with you.

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Nom De Guerre’s story.