Pic by Melody Jacob from Unsplash
Can the words retail and therapy be a sensible thing? I hear people saying 'retail therapy’ all the time but if one has limiting beliefs shopping can be a struggle. An anxiety attack waiting to happen.
I took a trip to Ross to check out their latest merchandise. I was pregnant and wanted to get some comfy dresses that would accommodate a growing belly. Ross is known for their 'dress for less' slogan which they stand by. So on this day, a beautiful emerald green dress caught my eye, vying for my attention it seemed to stand out from the packed rack. We met eye to eye (ecxept its eye was a button), and we fell in love with each other at first sight.
This dress was beautiful, it was made out of a soft t-shirt cotton material, the front had a lovely drape that was super flattering on my new big body. It was mid length and the front was a little shorter than the back. The price was out of my budget, and so I had to make a decision on whether to buy it or not. I took the dress put it in the cart like I was going to buy it, and walked around to see if there were cheaper options.
I have struggled with shopping anxiety for many years and it intensified after being homeless to a new high.
There’s always been that fear of what if I buy this right now and not have enough tomorrow?
I went to the fitting room to try on the dress, and felt so beautiful. I felt so damn good and the sparkle in my eyes came through the mirror vividly one would have thought I had diamonds in my eyes. I honestly loved that feeling. It was a different kind of love for myself.
And then I heard a clear voice in my head.
Go ahead and get the dress, you are deserving of feeling great about yourself. You’re beautiful! You will have the money to pay for it and you’ll be able to make more.
I know you might be thinking
“Girl, it’s Ross for goodness sake. It’s cheap”
I know. You’re absolutely right. But when you have a poor mindset, and troubled self-esteem it can ruin life experiences.
As I was in the store I got a message from a client booking my services. That was a confirmation that I could buy my feel good dress. I walked to the register radiating joy, and paid for the dress. The minute I put it on, and stepped outside I got a ton of compliments which even elevated my feel good mode. My baby even kicked with joy which he probably felt all the way in the womb.
It was my best maternity dress I had, and the dress that brought me to feel so good about myself, so beautiful, so deserving and led me to feel alright spending the money on myself and knowing that I’m abundant. I’ve never been a materialistic person, and this wasn’t about the dress. It was about finding myself, feeling and knowing the truth I’d forgotten about me — that I matter, am beautiful, deserving and that taking time to care about what I want, and being happy is important.
My son turned one recently, and I still wear my emerald green dress and still feel beautiful. A smile still comes on every time I wear it.
There’s no price to feeling good about myself. What a lesson.
