It’s all in your head
This has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. When I started this journey I thought I had the motivation to push through, but I didn’t. I thought for sure I was ready to succeed this time. And I think I am, it’s just going to take more than a couple of hazy hopes and dreams. I’ve been lazy for so long, there are hard habits to break. What do I mean by lazy? I mean accepting my place in life, accepting that this is how it is and this is how it always will be. Mr Average, not a failure but not a success. Just average. Just floating along where ever the tide takes me.
I’m changing this though. I’m no longer prepared to just accept how things are. I’m going to change things to how I want them to be. And I’m not just starting with exercise. This can’t just be a little change here and there, but a whole lifestyle change. See, I thought I could get away with these changes while still smoking weed. I love weed. I rarely drink and pot is how I relax, it’s my go to like most people have with alcohol. But it has to stop and it has to stop now. As much as I enjoy smoking weed I want my life to change more, so it has to go. This one substance is not worth all the other things I am missing out on.
That said, yesterday something just clicked in my head and today suddenly making these changes doesn’t seem like so much effort. It’s just a step that needs to be taken to reach the top. The pleasure is starting to out weigh the pain. I have realised that that’s all there is in life, pleasure and pain. One or the other. Why don’t we do things… cause we think they will cause pain. And what do we want, pleasure. People say they want money, flash cars, big houses or whatever, but what they really want is to feel pleasure. There is a catch though. To get to pleasure you have to go through the pain. That’s the rules and they can’t be broken. And this is what has stopped me and stopped most people. They don’t think they can go through the pain to get to the pleasure. Like every emotion though, pain is temporary. It to shall pass. And ask anyone that has pushed through the pain… the pleasure is definitely worth it.
So I am focusing on the end goal, not the little hurdles that get in the way. I must say that things are going pretty well right now. My head is in a good space and just knowing that I have started, started my journey and on my way to my destination. The sun outside is shining, my dog loves me and has a big old smile on her little grey face, my belly is full, there are good tunes on the radio and my mind is clear. I’ve also met a new love interest. She intrigues me, is intelligent, attractive and driven. And I can’t read her like I normally can with people. This is a good thing for me. She has substance and I like that. It is early days so we’ll see. Whatever happens though, it is an experience and one I am grateful for.
What else can I say. Today is a good day.