Castle Mapping

If I could, I would tell you that I don’t miss you, but I miss the feeling you generated.

Did you know that most of the castles in Japan were destroyed and that the ones people visit are concrete replicas? There are only about 5 original castles still standing.

Why continue to rebuild symbols of power when they were once destroyed for that very reason?

All I have left from our time are 3 photographs and memories, so I understand wanting to replicate symbols of love and power. I understand trying to hold on to those ideas and feelings.

Last night I went to a castle in Odawara, Japan. The original is no longer standing, but the trees are hundreds of years old. They are considering clearing out the trees to make room for a view of the concrete castle replica, but I think they should keep them as they are. Hasegawa Akira created projections on the castle that subtly changed and were informed by the earth’s energy. It was explained to me that it had something to do with not living in the present, that we are always in the past or the future, and of course this is a statement on the ephemeral.

I thought of you while I looked at the temporary shapes and colors melting into one another and once again gone, to change and make a new pattern. Did you make a new pattern? I know that I am trying to.

One week ago today a friend of mine read my fortune. Though I think she is perfectly capable of making insights without cards I found the results to be interesting and apt. The picture on the card was a fire god of sorts. I was to burn and renovate. Destroy and make anew. In order to be happy I had to leave my past behind me and look into the future. We are our past and our future, but where is the present? You burnt our castle down, but the ashes are still smoldering.

I don’t miss you. I miss the feeling you generated.