How parenting my inner child is changing my life, and how you could do it too.
The other day, I literally came out of a meditation crying my eyes out and so upset because something wasn’t happening on my timeline. As soon as an overwhelming emotion such as sadness comes over me i usually pull myself together, wipe my tears away and just numb the feeling with any distraction. But here’s the thing. This time I chose not to. I sat in my meditation, let myself cry it out, let myself feel the all the disappointment, the pain, the hurt. And then, I started to feel this sense of peace come over me. I couldn’t believe it, how is this possible ?
Those of us stepping into our spirituality have heard of our inner child. In some instances, we understand what it is but when we realize who they are, that’s where the magic starts.
One of the main components of inner child work is the idea that we all have younger parts within us with different ages and needs. As we grow up into out adult bodies and more logical, conscious brains, our younger selves don’t just disappear over time. When we get triggered and can’t understand why, it’s likely the younger part of us that is screaming for our attention.
Oftentimes, as adults, we ignore these cries, and we search for a solution outside of ourselves to fix those uncomfortable emotions that are coming up, with addictions like alcohol, binge eating, overwork or serial romances. But your inner children never disappear, it’s only a matter of time before the wave of negative emotions washes over you and gets the best of you again.
Healing your inner child is essential to wellbeing and growth
I never understood why i was always struggling with the same destructive behaviours, over and over again, regardless of how aware i was and how hard i tried to change them.
When i started acknowledging my inner child, i noticed that she was completely dependent on the people in her life. My codependency pushed me to sacrifice my needs and principles in order to maintain some relationships. I used to feel a strong pull toward validation and self-worth from others.
My inner child was seeking safety and security from everyone apart from myself, this always led me to being clingy and needy, and putting a lot of expectations on people around me. Which naturally led to failed relationships, therefore feeling abandoned, rejected and deeply insecure.
Acknowledgement is Therapeutic
Once I acknowledged that my inner child wasn’t seen nor heard, and that I was the only one that could help her out, it was so therapeutic. Sitting in meditation and holding space for my younger self to feel all of those emotions gave a me sense of peace and power. I could finally talk to her and make her feel safe. For once i felt what it was like to only depend on myself to heal and not look for some external relief.
“It’s like a mother: when the baby is crying,
she picks up the baby and she holds the baby tenderly in her arms.
Your pain, your anxiety is your baby.
You have to take care of it.
You have to go back to yourself,
to recognize the suffering in you.
Embrace the suffering, and you get a relief.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Become your own mother or father. Mindfully embrace your inner child with self-compassion. Simply sit, be present and get in tune with yourself. Embrace your negative thoughts, thank them for existing and showing you what needs to heal. Allowing them to have their space is so important. It’s time to listen to that pain. It’s time to feel it to heal it.
