Consideration is frustrating
“You need to tell people how you really feel” And I when I do,I get called an inconsiderate bitch for it. Can you see it? I feel it. My eyebrows twitching when I smile at someone I really despise because that person suddenly decided to have a decent conversation with me. I’ve come to realize that you can’t be honest with anyone. They say one thing but mean another. I’m so good at faking and lying about everything that when it happens I don’t even realize it anymore. It’s sad really. At the end of the day, no one knows me…and I am desperate for one,JUST ONE to wholeheartedly accept me. I am desolate. Let’s face it,I will be called a miserable person if I just come right out and say everything. Is it really worth it? Hiding everything just to have a social life and to be a considerate person. But then again,I don’t want to hear it. Those words that are forever etched into my mind. “You’re really mean Hafelah”. “Wow you’re so judgemental”. “You’re very rude”. Tell me something I don’t know. I will be quiet. Let me take care of your feelings. It’s clear as day that mine does not matter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should put aside your feelings to be considerate of mine,I’m just saying that it doesn’t matter. I won’t be alive long enough for you to care,so let me do what I can. I will only be remembered as someone people think about me and not know about.