You Can’t Just Flip a Switch
Overcoming Resistance to Change
This is the first publication of No One’s Home. The first of many I assure you. As someone who thinks all day and all night, there is a lot I am questioning. One thing I have been questioning for a while now is why can I not do the things I want to do? Why, when I have the time and the energy I feel this… resistance?
You know what resistance is.
Resistance is what stops you from complying, accepting; changing. Resistance is our worry. It’s our brain saying it’s uncomfortable.
And now you know why you feel it.
We typically resist things that either lead to change or don’t align with our values, visions and morals. We resist out of fear and uncertainty. It is our subconscious believing that it’s protecting us. A self-defence mechanism that really is just a self-attack. Resistance, to me, is self-sabotage disguised as self-protection. I had been resisting out fear, and I couldn’t see that until it manifested physically.
And what it looks like.
For me, resistance took the form of avoidance. I kept writing things and never finishing them. I was so quick to start and so quick to stop as after I had written the title; I began to worry about it not being good enough. Every time I tried to think of the next word, I told myself it was the wrong word. I wanted perfection or else I shouldn’t share it. Resistance might look similar for you. Maybe you constantly are looking for more ways to better your work, being a perfectionist. Or you just waste time; make excuses and take a break even though it is something you have just started. You may even be consumed by distractions that you think are . YouTube tutorials aren’t going to get you the life you want if you don’t practise them. I should know. I have spent countless hours “researching” every night, only to realise that I have retained nothing.
Resistance in the brain.
The reason we feel resistance is innate as it is deeply rooted in our biology. As I mentioned before, it happens on a subconscious level. It triggers the amygdala, the “autopilot” (basal ganglia) and our cortisol. Our amygdala, is the part of our brain that recognises threats and resistance is a “threat”. It is seen as a threat because even though it may not physically affect us, our brain can fear for its possible emotional and psychological effects.
Another part of our brain, the Basal Ganglia, or as I like to call it, my “autopilot”, is where habits, routine and familiar actions are formed. This system is a regulator. It takes things from manual and switches them to automatic. This is to save our energy which is kind of like a finite resource. (It runs out). When we change routine our autopilot tries to re-correct us, which can cause mental friction and consume our time and energy. It believes it knows better. But sometimes, you have to override it. You know, like people have to override the Tesla’s autopilot function, because otherwise they were probably going to go straight into that pole.
Also change causes stress. Our cortisol levels can go through the roof when something new and difficult is being introduced to us. And because of the level of uncertainty we have about this change, our dopamine decreases. Discomfort decreases dopamine and increases stress. Now you can see why our brain resists. It is a lot of work to form new habits and do hard things.
But, people CAN do hard things. I HAVE published this piece. And YOU WILL get past this resistance you are feeling. It is hard but you can defeat resistance.
This time I have refused to let resistance win. For me, getting past this resistance came from reframing the issue. I recently came back across this quote from The War of Art by Steven Pressfield where he explains that feeling of resistance.
“Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential. It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”
By reframing resistance as a hurdle, it made it easier to approach. It also mentally prepared me for the next one. It’s OKAY to knock a hurdle down every now and again. It’s only a small penalty. And time doesn’t matter anyways as you are in a race for one. Just keep going.
How to overcome resistance?
Here I have written a guide for you. This will help you tackle the resistance you are feeling. Write this down and reflect for yourself.
- Acceptance
First you must accept why you are resisting the task at hand. Ask yourself why. Is it because you lack confidence? Is the fear of failure making you anxious? Figure it out. - Realism
Maybe what you are resisting is easier to avoid and delay because it is not realistic. I wanted to spend 2 hours a day writing. From not even five minutes a day to 2 hours was not at all realistic. By setting incremental goals like 5 minutes this week, 10 minutes the next, I am slowly getting more consistent. - Action
If you really want to get past it then work towards it from now. Set a date you want it completed by and treat it like it’s your job. Always make time for it and don’t do it after work when you are tired, do it in the morning. Stop making excuses. Start dedicating time and become that person you want to be.
Also, allow yourself room to make mistakes. Resistance is always going to be something we feel as it is our biology after all. Through practice of awareness, reassurance and being brave you can conquer it. Be confident in your abilities. Writing this piece over the last few days has massively boosted my confidence. I am reading this over and realising I have done it. I have overcome this little hurdle. And the next won’t be so hard now…I hope.
Thanks for giving this a read. This is my first post here, so sadly I can’t link you to more. But I can link you to the other platform I will be posting on. No One’s Home — Substack
