Do we know what we want?
These years of my young adult life somehow sheds light on how I perceive the human world around: we don’t always know what we want, even if we think we do.
My best friend, for example, believes that a husband will bring her peace and happiness. I myself used to think that there was the one out there waiting for me. My findings soon suggested that the one doesn’t really exist unless the two of you learn to compromise but still grow together. Translation: I may like the idea of the one, but I don’t want to invest on someone to be my future “the one”. And the truth is, most of us don’t either.
We are taught from a very early age that we need to find a partner to grow old with, have children with, and have happy life together. But what if none of this happens, are you the one who blamed? We may fall in love, we may fall out of love. We may have a child. We may decide not to have children. We may get married once or three times. We may do all of these things. And why should there be a standard of happiness when we could be happy on our own way?
We standardize the love, but it actually comes in many forms. Love is not only from outside, but also ignites from our soul. All the love we desire for ourselves, honey, just only you can do that for you. The movie romanticize the love of a couple. They fast forward the scene of each person as independent individual with privacy, different needs and desires.
As you step each day into the Ageless future, there will come the day when we least expect it, because that truly is when it happens, when someone may show us what it feels like to actually love and be loved. But there also will come a day when we least expect it, we figure out we deserved to be loved and we don’t need to wait for someone to show it.
Many of us want to be loved by someone. Many of us want to be accepted by the society. No, it’s not true: We don’t know what we actually want, even we think we do. So correctly: Many of us want to be loved. Many of us want to be accepted. The thing is we are busy chasing external factors for our happiness and ignore our inner voice. John Lennon said: We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. We need to be committed to who we are. We need to support all our hopes and dreams. Only we can pull ourselves out of the black hole of insecurity. We have to know that the only person who we can depend on is us. We have to believe in who we are, always and forever. We have to.
And only when we have learned to love ourselves, we live our lives to the fullest.
That I know, for sure, what I want.