Self Love First
We have entered the week of love! Some LOVE this upcoming holiday, but many DESPISE it for obvious reasons. For me, even though I am in a relationship, I view Valentine’s Day as being about self-love first. Why? Because it is necessary for all other forms of love to truly have meaning in my humble opinion. I came across a concept recently that I really loved, probably in a meme, but I cannot recall exactly so I can’t give proper credit. So this is not my original idea, but I thought it was great and that I should elaborate on my thoughts surrounding the concept with you all.
The concept. If you only love 30% of yourself, then you will accept someone else loving only 40% of you. Ohhhhhh! That’s good stuff, isn’t it? Re-read and let that sink in! This, my friends, is why self-love matters SO much and why it matters FIRST.
I think it is common for people to expect others and want others to love them more than they even practice to love themselves. Why? I don’t know exactly. I think partly because society teaches us from a young age to place an enormous amount of our self worth on others or exterior sources. Boys are taught to chase girls. Girls are taught to be appealing to boys. I just recently experienced this with my 3-year-old son. We took him to an old fashioned barber shop to get his haircut. Innocent experience, right? For the most part, it was. The barber, though, had to throw in asking my son how many girlfriends he has. I cringed! This is not how we talk in our house. My son, having no idea what he was even talking about, just gave a blank stare. It was a weird reminder for me how important of a job it will be for us, as parents, to be the primary guiding force on this matter. To intentionally teach our sons their own self-worth. That they do not NEED to be chasing girls in order to feel valued. And that girls are not objects for them. Furthermore, they can love whomever they want, regardless of gender.
Back to my point though. When this concept came into my vision, it smacked me in the face. Like, duh! It makes total sense. How can we expect others to love us more than we love ourselves? How can we expect to have super meaningful and exceptional relationships, if we cannot first start by having the same standard with ourselves?
I think this leads to us looking for potential partners to fill voids and can be a slippery slope from there. Imagine what kinds of relationships you could have if you truly loved all of you, all 100%. Does this mean that you think all of you is perfect? No, not at all. It just means that you fully embrace where you are at in your journey and fully love every part of you, flawed or not. What kinds of people and relationships would you be able to attract? Or how much could it improve any current relationships if you took the lead in loving yourself?
I dare you to date yourself first. If you are wishing and hoping for something this Valentine’s Day, treat yourself to it! And if a loved one gives you something too or plans something, then that’s the cherry on top. But you do not need to wait for others to take the lead. You can and should LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!
With Love,
Dana
