My Hijab Story

I am a Muslim. I was raised by my parents in a muslim way except for the fact that I was not trained to wear Hijab when I was still a little girl. And because I grew up in a neighborhood surrounded by Christian people, it also became hard for me to adapt with our home language (maranao) because almost all of us in our house speaks bisaya language more often than using maranao language. Nonetheless, we still practice our faith and live in a halal way.

When I was in elementary, I don’t wear Hijab at all. It is because I’m scared that my classmates will not befriend me and I’d be left out alone at school. My parents didn’t mind at all because they believe that ‘wearing Hijab should not be forced, it should be a product of your own will’. I thought that they just don’t want me to become rebellious towards them if they will force me to wear one so they just let me be. Instead, they decided to enroll me in an Islamic School where I can practice and learn everything about Islam. But even if I study Islam and we were told by our teachers to wear Hijab all the time, I still don’t wear Hijab at school maybe because I still haven’t figured out the importance of wearing it wherever I go.

Worse became worst when I got into High School because I stopped going to Madrasah and I also stopped wearing Hijab. There are times that my father would make me wear one to school but I immediately put it inside my bag the moment I arrived at school or just let it hang around my neck. I think the main reason why I felt embarassed wearing Hijab when I was in high school is because of 'peer pressure’. Most of my friends were Christian so I thought that if I wear Hijab, they will not allow me to hang out with them because it’ll feel and look like I’m just a castaway. "In order to belong, you need to 'get in' with their interests", this was my motto when I was in high school and now, I sincerely regret living by this motto for four years.

It was summer after high school graduation when my mom shared a "Hijab tutorial" video on my timeline. The moment I watched that video, realizations hit me. It made me regret not wearing Hijab for the half of my life. At that moment, I felt like I was finally awake to the fact that I am a Muslim woman and it is my obligation to wear Hijab always no matter what I do and where I go. I continued watching Hijab tutorial videos on Youtube and I then requested my Mom to buy me more Hijab and pins. Me and my sister started studying about how to properly wear and style different types of Hijab. It was such a wonderful feeling hearing compliments from my family and friends. It was just that time when I realized that wearing Hijab is not a joke at all, it’s something I should be proud of as a Muslim woman. From that moment on, I continued wearing Hijab and I was happy whenever I receive nice compliments from my college friends and even from some of my professors. It made me feel so secured, covered and proud. I am not shy anymore, instead, I am "confidently beautiful" with a Hijab.

"I don’t wear Hijab to impress people, I wear Hijab to express my faith." - NSM