And here you go

Constant dilemma of my life: comfort vs. risks and beauty.

The only problem with my favorite season (autumn) is the scare of getting a cold. So after a night out with friends WHILE IT WAS STILL SUMMER I wearing a dress in 15 degrees C (49F) outside, dreaming about a sweater and jeans apart from a heavy hangover probably got a cold. Nice. Just what I needed 2 days before coming back to the university as a senior. But f**k it I’m gonna be stunning either way. Because I don’t have a cold — and a power of mind works.

Sometimes I wish live somewhere else where in autumn you wear sweaters not to be warm but just because it’s cozy and suits the golden trees. And in a place where you do not spend most of your time thinking — is it going to rain? Like you need an answer — of course it will!

Am I sound too bitchy right now? Whatever. So… Tomorrow is the last day of summer and the last day (well no entirely — I still have weekends) to prepare myself mentally and emotionally to the next and last year.

When I’m gonna start making decisions?

The only word swirling in my head right now — bullshit.

It feels stupid to read here posts on “How to become a great writer” not that that advice isn’t useful — they are. But I knew all that already. I’m not trying to present myself us a know-it-all I’m not Hermione and I’m far from not making mistakes. I wish I saw more recommendation to be bold and don’t think that much. But I can tell that myself. What I’ve been craving is probably some support.

I guess the best advice for me now is STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY.

How is that possible to care so much — to the point of nausea — what people would think? Even strangers on the internet! To specify possible strangers on the internet who may or may not come across my sort of blog.

It supposed to be a safe for me and my thoughts but how could it be if I’m not f***ing comfortable with saying or writing in a matter of fact what I really think?

Don’t change the rules — change the attitude.

I believe in myself and I’m ready to show it.

No matter if it sounds lame to me right now it feels nice to be able to most something like that.

I’m gonna go dance my anger away and go to sleep praying to get out of bed tomrrow before noon.