Recently, a friend told me that it bothered her that I said in a blog post that I wanted to be a saint. In that post, I focused on wanting to let go of attachments. Since her comment, I’ve been thinking more about what I meant. As I continue on this prayer journey, however, my understanding of what wanting to emulate a “saint” means has grown. Because it is not seeking perfection — or at least not an idea of perfection extrinsic to being myself. It is also not about becoming an ascetic and giving up all of my worldly possessions.
Instead, what I seek and am finding, especially the more I pray, is freedom. Freedom from fear that comes from believing in a Creator with greater power than me and that I am Creator’s beloved and very good creation. The freedom to live fully into who I am created to be without fear of what others might think or expect from me. The freedom to trust that when I follow a path I am beckoned down, even a terrifying one, that Creator will see me through it.
Part of what started me down this road was Al Anon, the twelve-step group for people in relationships with alcoholics and addicts. I’m firmly convinced that everyone should work the twelve steps. The first three steps involve admitting our powerlessness, believing that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, and making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care…
