I’m eating at TGI Fridays every day this week, and today is day number 1 — #TGISaturdays

Why… am I doing this?
It started as a joke. My company just moved to a new office with big windows that look directly at the sign of a TGI Fridays — specifically, the one at 47 Broadway; I’ll be eating there soon — and I chose the desk with the best view of it. I pretended that I really like Fridays and that it would become our go-to spot for after-work drinks. (I don’t. It hasn’t. It won’t.) At some point someone dared me to eat there for an entire week, and a challenge like that can’t go unmet.
On a deeper level, American casual dining chains hit an aesthetic sweet spot for me: a blend of kitsch, consumer capitalism and suburban nostalgia for the ’90s and ’00s. This is the same AESTHETIC that drives my love for elevator music and the comedy of Tim & Eric. I know I’ll discover more reasons why as the week progresses.
Here’s a summary of day one.
Where
604 5th Ave, New York, NY 10023
Yelp rating: 1.5 stars
When
Early dinner, 5:30–7 pm
Who
My friend Vick and I

What
- Chicken quesadilla
- Boneless wings
- Mozzarella sticks
- BBQ chicken flatbread
- Jack Daniel’s bacon cheddar cheeseburger
- Side of fries
- Diet Pepsi

How
…was the food?
Honestly, not as bad as I’d prepped myself for. I didn’t complete any dish but did eat from every dish more than once.
I was most excited for the mozzarella sticks and, unfortunately, most disappointed by them too. When they’re warm the melty cheese is visually and lingually gratifying, but the aftertaste has notes of baby powder and bleach. The sriracha and BBQ wings were crunchy on the outside — albeit about as spicy as bell peppers — and healthy-looking white meat on the inside.
The burger was by far the best item. Although the burger bun was damp — is it dipped in Jack Daniels? — the meat was indeed medium rare, and bacon tastes better than I remember.
The three celery sticks on the wing plate were the sole color outside the rainbow of brown that arced across the table. On my ordinarily gluten-free pescatarian diet the only items I could have consumed are the fries and Diet Pepsi. The fries were forgettable.
…the service?
Our server was William S. He was upbeat without being annoying and there when we needed him. I bet he’ll be in a better place a year from now.
…the ambiance?
Not dirty but still dingy. We ate in the dining room on the ground floor which is past the bar and windowless. The low ceiling, yellow walls, fluorescent lighting and inexpensive chairs made it feel like a converted 1970s office space. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a Rolodex by the register.
…am I feeling now?
Not since I was hospitalized in February for obscure small bowel bleeding have I felt this gastrointestinally discombobulated. I’m wearing my hospital socks for comfort.
Emoji Haiku Executive Summary
🇺🇸😎🙃🌈🥉
🐄🐓🍞🧀🍔🍟🥓
☹️😧🤢🤔💩
Till tomorrow, friends.
