Today my sister left for Rome. It’s the second time. This time I actually cried. I think I know why; I had a flash back of the last 5 or weeks without her. I’m now dreading the next few weeks where it’ll be just me and my dad on our own, dealing with my problems.
I think I’ve now figured out why I’ve blocked her form everything. It’s because I can’t communicate with her anymore. I don’t know how to. Every day when I wake up there’s a small worry that I’ll be hurt by her again and again. It’s even worse because she’s able to hurt me more than anyone else.
Though the above still remains, I’m also hurt by the fact that she knows about this whole thing with my dad and she left the country for me to deal with it on my own. While I don’t expect anything from her. I can’t help but see the selfishness in her actions. I can’t forgive someone who chose to run away and leave me with something so enormous.