Dear White People: Loving A Black Person Isn’t Activism
Welcome to another completely exhausting week in America. I, like many would-be-targets of Neo-Confederates, cope with the ever-draining national conversation about how we should love white nationalists into submission, with humor. And, like clockwork, I receive responses like this every time:
Putting aside the ridiculousness of her statement, and the obviousness of the joke I’m making, this does raise a much needed conversation. After all, I receive essentially the same response any time I push white people on what they do to fight white supremacy- you know, outside of tweeting #standwithCharlottesville. My dear white friends, colleagues, lovers, and acquaintances: Loving a Black person isn’t a form of activism.
Look, it’s not a bad thing, obviously. You should be friends with people you like, and it’s of course a better world when “people you like” includes folks from other races. It’s just that having friends isn’t activism- not on it’s own. And when you get into the reasons why some white folks feel this way, you’ll see it’s incredibly counter-productive to any fight against white supremacy.
You see, people who think that having a Black friend or spouse is a form of activism unto itself will tell you they are doing something that violates the conditions of white supremacy. A white person loving a Black person is de facto not what white supremacy is about, and that’s true. But just because something isn’t actively white supremacist, doesn’t mean it is activism against white supremacy.
The idea that liking a Black person is somehow activism falls under one of two justifications. Either:
White people being in a Black person’s life makes it better, as though Black folks are just waiting around in their miserable oppressed lives for a white person to come love them and be their friend, because vibrant Black spaces don’t occur (which is wrong- you just don’t see them, and you probably shouldn’t). It seems to always carry the assumption that there is something uniquely enriching about non-Black presence in Black folks lives. It’s as though Black folks having a white friend means they get to see not all white people are racist, and now they can relax about this whole Neo-Confederate uprising. That’s ridiculous. Being a Black person’s friend does not alleviate their justified concerns over white supremacy, and it shouldn’t.
The second justification is more overtly bizarre, though it doesn’t seem to register that way to most white folks. The logic, born from contact theory, is that having Black friends makes white people less racist, which makes the world better. In that case, I can’t help but wonder why you need “a Black friend” to know that Black people are human? And additionally, how is it activism to make yourself less racist by making Black folks be around your racist ass until you figure out that they are likable humans?
Loving Black people isn’t activism, even if it is good. What is activism, however, is putting in work for the Black folks you love and the ones you don’t even know.
If you’re unsure how to do that, I invite you to check out the second half of this article, which has easy, practical suggestions for being an activist in your everyday life. Happy fighting, comrades.
