Stuff I wish I’d known before I quit my job

You will still feel like shit. You have dreamed of quitting your job and following your dreams for so long. Now that it’s actually happening, though, it feels like that scene in The Truman Show where Truman realises the horizon is just a screen. You thought all your problems would be resolved once you got your freedom, but you’re still weighed down by the years of anxiety and fatigue you went through before getting here.

Actually, you will feel even more shit than before. Because you’re still exhausted and a bit down, you will want to do nothing for a very long time — wake up late, laze around in your PJs, have just one massive (and unhealthy) feast a day because you’re waking up so late and are really, really hungry by the time you do. This makes you feel guilty, the absolute worst feeling. The cherry on the shit cake is realising that the one thing you thought would make you happy — your freedom — doesn’t do the trick. What kind of flawed, sad human being am I, you will ask yourself daily.

There will come a time when things will get a bit better. It takes time to get over the cumulated trauma of going against your nature for so long. Every day you have had to lie to customers to get them to buy your product/stop screaming at you, be reverent to your boss who was a despicable human being and who made you pull up members of your team for being human and making completely insignificant mistakes. Be kind to yourself and be patient, you need to remember the good inside you and steal back all the sleepless nights and joy that your job took from you over the years.

And then it happens. You’re rested, you have some hindsight. You start getting up before 9am, showering before even looking at your Instagram feed, then rustling up some scrambled eggs for breakfast. You’re forging your own routine and it feels great. The conditions are perfect, you’re ready to create.