Predict How Many Likes Your FB Profile Picture Will Get
There are 8 types of profile pictures. Here they are ranked in order of potency + likelihood to be a “like”-magnet:
8. The Awkward Computer Selfie.
This is the profile picture of the person who most likely just don’t give a f*ck. Oh, I need a profile picture? I guess I’ll just take one now, with my computer’s camera. Mostly used by the older generation (eg my dad) or our best friends, the Socially-Challenged.
Like-meter: Maybe your embarrassed but supportive younger sister will like it for you.
7. The Phone Selfie*.
If the subject decides on a phone selfie for their profile picture, the person is way too into themselves. Unless the selfie is mind-blowingly stunning, the Phone Selfie just means that the subject couldn’t manage to be photogenic in any other position than the one taken with the camera angled just so, in the perfect lighting.
*This category includes the mirror/post-workout selfie.
Like-meter: Your middle-school best friend will like it for you.
6. The Selfie With A Friend.
The one where taking a selfie is slightly more socially acceptable because you have a partner-in-crime.
Like-meter: If you and/or your friend are hot, the creepy guys in your life will be all over this.
5. The one where the landscape is prettier than you.
You’re usually just a spec in the distance or wearing an oversized jacket because mind-blowing landscapes + harrowing weather seem to go hand-in-hand.
Like-meter: Most normal people will like for the landscape.
4. The couple photo.
People will like this photo just because you and your SigO is cute together. Extra points for a cute candid couple mome #CCC. But negative points for the fact that your relationship has engulfed your identity.
Like-meter: Usually all of the people who have your number will like this one.
3. The (fake) candid photo taken on an iPhone.
“Ok, now laugh!” *Snap*
Like-meter: Lots and lots of likes, because candid = cool.
2. The (actually) candid photo.
Like-meter: Mass appeal.
1.The professional headshot.
A coveted default, donned by classical musicians, aspiring actors, and people with talented friends who ask them to pose “for practice.” You’ve all seen these and drooled. They usually a) look nothing like the person in real life and b) come with a stream of comments with exclamations like “let me fuck you” and “gorrrrgeous!” etc etc etc
Like-meter: The professional contact you accidentally friended while drunk who feels awkward about knowing too much about your personal life and actively tries not to like any of your posts will like it. It’s just that good.
Any to add to my topology?