Loneliness feels like the monster under your bed. The one you never see but whose presence is felt. I’ve always felt like this but on some days, like today the feeling gets really strong. Just feel like crying letting it all out but obviously that would make me look just bat crap crazy, so I’m writing about it. Sure, it helps a bit but doesnt make that sick feeling in my stomach go away.
Its been a while since I’ve been with a girl and that just adds to the misery. And what’s worse is that it’s my birthday tomorow and im just particularly feeling worse about a higher number being added to my age. It’s great that i will be travelling to Miami later this year to complete my pilot’s license. I still haven’t felt that joy of being in Miami yet. Honestly, that thought is scaring me a bit. Being all alone in a completely new country and all that stuff but I’m hoping for the best.
Lately, I have been studying to prepare for the stuff i will have to do when i get there. Hope it all turns out well. I’ve been out of ideas as well as to what I want to write about. The creative juices are just not flowing. Stuff around me has been really boring since a couple of days. All i do is sit home play my ps for a few hrs and watch tv. It isn’t really ideally how someone would like to spend his days in Dubai.
In short, just writing about this loneliness i feel helps a bit to calm down and suppress that bitter feeling, but in the end doesn’t help solve the problem. I have no idea what will and i hope someday it all goes away.