An Apology letter
To my father, the universe..
If I had become an astronaut..
I would have left this earth and lived in you
I would have seen the earth land and water
I wouldn’t have known her inhabitants
I would have seen the people land
I would have seen them sand
I wouldn’t have known them
I wouldn’t have spoken to them
I wouldn’t have loved them
But I am not an astronaut..
I have become another normal human being
I steal a glance of the moon, so I won’t see you
Because I feel shy from you
I feel shy from you
Your daughter has turned into another girl like any other girl from the planet earth
Indulged into its pleasures
And enjoying the life here among these people
Among these people, some of whom have become her family
And some have become her lovers, her friends, her strangers and her enemies
Yes, she has forgotten you
I am sorry…
I am sorry….
I don’t know how I am going to send this letter to you
Do you have an address?
Yes, I know, I have forgotten our address
I have forgotten our home..
I have forgotten our space…
But do you understand me?
Have you ever tried living here?
Even for a day?
I meant to say… even once?
Between these “creatures” who call themselves humans
I know you would not have heard them
You would not have seen them
But you would have felt them
And after a while, you will start to hear them
You will start to see them
And then you will start to understand them
Then you will look at them and then they will look back at you
You will love them..
You will hate them..
You will get addicted to them… and with them…
I know this earth looks so quiet to you from where you sit
So far, so beautiful, so seductive..
You haven’t hugged her for a while..
Since I was born..
No, how can I remember..
But you remember..
And she remembers
Come closer to her to feel her love
To know her wildness
To know her cruelty
To know her craziness
To know her rebelliousness
To know her anger
To know her history
In brief, you would have forgiven me
But at any rate
I’m sending this apology letter
If you get this letter late, that is because I am still looking for the address
The address that I might never find
And that is what is scaring me
Because my life is short here
And I might die before you read my letter
But I know you will eventually read it
I meant to say, once
You will read it
Another girl from the planet earth