What’s Death Got To Do With It?

When life threatens you with death, you find yourself in a dark place reaching into a pool of memories, faces of family members float obscurely, feelings drift like ghosts and you are completely alone. A healthy reminder of our expiry is often just what we need to awaken our hearts to the abundance of each moment.

I recently learned this tough lesson about death. I was hospitalized in Australia for 4 days where I faced a life threatening infection, a perforated uterus and wounded intestine. I am a traveler by nature, a planner only by necessity. And well, an unplanned pregnancy in the middle of the jungle was not what I had “not planned”. It put the brakes on things fast and I was left staring into the eyes of some very big questions. My decision to abort was empowered, but the situation that played out afterwards was not. Life shuffles us into corners that seem to be completely out of bounds with what we know. It can take us to places that are both dimensionally and psychologically unnavigable. Completely unbearable to the rational mind and only survivable by the incredibly pursuant energies of our spirits.

I’ve started to equate death to many things. Included on this list is the idea that without expressing yourself from a spiritual place, you are dead. I see people that seem dead to me. Their energy is dead, their minds, their faces, their hearts, their hopes and most importantly their dreams. I’ve stood in slums and witnessed the Earth dying and the water dying and the people dying. When a system can no longer fight for itself, it begins a battle with death; similar to the infection my body was facing. When we start letting go of the good things in life, of what makes us who we are, we start to die.

I believe that a close relationship to our true selves is the most important tool for survival. A close relationship to our true nature. When we are polluted, we lose the qualities that make us ripe, raw, real, natural, beautiful and abundant. Reality becomes a blurry illusion of illnesses and lies and things we don’t believe in. I know I am taking this deep, so let me sum it up: if you want to survive you must learn to be yourself. Survival of the fittest is not about competition. It is about being the best version of you, the most fit version of you that you can possibly be. I have seen many shades of death but this one just might be the most forlorn and depressing. When I see someone or notice myself clinging like a moth to a faint light, grappling for direction, I see death. I see loss of life, the potential of possibility left on pause. I see the unused currency of spirit. If we think of ourselves as investors in the human race, the lack of spiritual direction in people can be seen as a bad investment or risk factor in the future outlook of humanity and it’s potential to return.

If death is a lack of something and the exact thing that makes us human and unique is spirit, then a lack of connection to spirit is death.

It’s so perplexing to me why we’ve built a world where it is so easy to get ourselves tangled up in the topsy turvy, endless twist of confusion and zombie like, half-life, listless wanderings. What if instead we could get carried away in the dramatic and beautifully endless secrets of our mother ship and (most) everyone could be happy. If your gut is reaching out to call me idealistic, really think about what you’re rejecting. The idea of happiness as being something that is scarce and not abundant. The death of our most important truths is really what needs to be saved on this planet. And that is my mission. To use my voice to resurrect the stories and truths that reveal to us what has been stolen and what we can truly experience in this life.

My recent brush with death has shown me that we don’t get as many chances in life as we think we do. In fact, the only chance we might ever have is the one we are holding on to right now.